Title: What I Truly Want
Author: Birman
E-mail: birman@jahannam.it
Disclaimer: nope, they’re not mine, yes, I wish they would.
Summary: Snape and Lupin overcome their ancient hostility.
Challenge: #96 After an accident, both Snape and Remus find themselves stuck in their teenage bodies. Runaway hormones and klutziness included.
Warnings: minor OotP spoilers
Rating: NC-17 (I didn’t mean to put smut in this fic, honestly… it got out of control… Y_Y)
 

Severus Snape was wondering, for the umpteenth time that day, why the heavens damned him with such a disgrace as Neville Longbottom.

Why, one would think that the boy should be able to do a standard seventh-year potion by now, but no, that poor excuse of a wizard managed somehow to blow up yet another cauldron.

And here he was now, spending his own not-so-free-now afternoon watching over Longbottom (or rather, glaring at Longbottom), while he tried to brew a decent Pepper-Up.

The boy was shivering and squirming under his gaze, and that made him feel slightly better. Snape allowed himself a small smirk, which didn’t pass unnoticed, as the young wizard yelped softly.

Someone knocked at the door of the classroom, and Snape spun on his heels to glare at the intruder.
His lips curled up, baring his teeth: “Lupin.” he spat.

The werewolf had been hired once again for the position of Defence Against the Dark Arts, now that Umbridge’s restrictions had been lifted by the Ministry.
The Potions Master raised and eyebrow: “Are you in need of anything, Lupin? I’m quite busy, as you can surely see.” he gestured towards Longbottom, who lowered his head and tried to act like he was invisible, while stirring a very thick potion.

Lupin smiled at Neville, then faced his colleague again.
“Yes, actually, I needed to ask you something.” He smiled apologetically. “You don’t happen to have some potion for headaches, do you? I asked Poppy, but she ran out of them, and she told me you might have some in store.”

Snape snorted.
“Follow me.”
He halted in front of a glass cabinet, and took out a small vial, filled with a thick, amber-coloured liquid. He uncorked it, smelled it, and handed it to the werewolf.
“A spoonful should be enough.”
He took a spoon from his worktable and handed that to Lupin as well.

Both wizards now had their backs to Neville, so they didn’t notice the thick, green smoke that was rising from the boy’s cauldron and slowly filling the room.
Neville stepped back from the obviously-ruined potion, and tried to get his teachers’ attention, but all that escaped from his mouth was a feeble squeak.
He cleared his throat and tried again: “Uhm… sirs? Professor Snape? I… I think we have a problem…”

Snape turned around and his eyes widened: “What on Circe’s name have you done this time? Get out, you stupid boy! GET OUT!”
As Neville ran out of the classroom as if he had a dragon at his heels, Snape grabbed Lupin’s arm and headed to the door.
They were almost out when an even thicker smoke rose from the potion, enveloping them and making them cough.
They fell on their knees, almost choking, and soon lost consciousness.

Snape opened his eyes to the worried face of Albus Dumbledore. He was in the hospital wing.
“What…” he began, but stopped immediately. His voice… his voice sounded… weird…
He pulled himself up to sit against the headboard of his bed. Something felt strange in his body, it didn’t respond in the way it used to…
“Albus, what happened?” his voice still sounded strange to him, but he’d think about it later.
The Headmaster frowned slightly: “Are you feeling alright, my boy?”
Snape waved a hand impatiently: “Yes, yes… I’m fine.”
Dumbledore chuckled softly, and his eyes twinkled once again.
“Poppy tells me that both you and Remus are physically fine, but those fumes managed to affect both your bodies somehow…”
Snape frowned: “What do you mean?”
The Headmaster sighed, and handed him a small mirror: “Maybe it’s best if you see it for yourself, child.”


Snape drew the curtains around Lupin’s bed and stared at him. He was sleeping peacefully, his chest rising softly in a steady rhythm.
Severus raised a hand and touched his face lightly, for fear of waking him up. He was exactly as he remembered him…

He withdrew his hand as Lupin shifted and opened his eyes.
“Severus…” he whispered with a smile, but as soon as his eyes focused the face in front of him, he almost jumped and sat upright, suddenly wide awake.
“Severus? Is that you? Is that really you?”

Snape snorted: “No, I’m an overgrown fairy. There have been some problems with that smoke, as you can see, and this time, that Longbottom boy is in for the detention of his life!”
He handed Lupin the same mirror that Dumbledore gave him before, and crossed his arms over his chest.
He watched Lupin look himself in the mirror; he watched as his eyes widened, and his hand came up and touched his skin, his hair…

Remus looked back at Snape, mouth open as if he wanted to say something, but no sound escaped from it.
“We’re…”
“Yes, yes, I already know, we’re young again. If I’m not mistaken, we’re around sixteen.”
Lupin’s mouth opened and closed several times before gaining again its ability to speak: “How…? When…? We’ll be able to go back to our old selves, won’t we, Severus?”
“I’m afraid this will take some time, children.” came the answer in the voice of the Headmaster, as Albus appeared behind Snape.
“Luckily, it’s just one day before the Christmas holidays, and only a dozen students will remain at Hogwarts. I think it’s best if no-one sees you at the moment, so you will be sharing one of the guest rooms. No Severus, you won’t be staying in your quarters, it’s too close to the Slytherin common room, someone might come looking for you, and no, Remus, Mr Potter and his friends shall not know about your… accident. I’ll tell them you’re on Order business, shall they ask.” he told them, anticipating their protests.

The two boys were given some uniforms their size. They left the hospital wing soon after Dumbledore’s visit, and were escorted to their new quarters.
As soon as they stepped in, they were quite delighted to find that almost all their books had been moved into their new accomodation, and other personal belongings were waiting in the only bedroom, as well as two four-poster beds, identical to the ones in the dormitories.

Remus sat heavily on one of the beds, and sighed.
“What are we going to do now?” he turned his head to look at the other boy.
“You heard Albus, we are to wait. In the meanwhile, please refrain from bothering me more than necessary.”

He unfastened his robes, and let them fall to the floor.
Remus was still watching him, and was quite surprised to realize that he’d just gulped at the sight.
“What… what are you doing?”

Snape raised and eyebrow.
“What does it look to you? I’m going to take a bath, I can still smell that potion on me.”
He smirked and moved closer to the other boy: “Why, Lupin, were you hoping for something else, perhaps?”
His face was dangerously close to Remus’, lips almost touching, but when the Gryffindor gulped again, Snape let out a small laugh and stepped back.

The raven-haired boy walked to the bathroom and closed the door behind him, adding a few locking spells.
Remus covered his face with his hands, and muttered to himself: “Damn! Great job Remus, you succeeded once again in making a fool of yourself!”

When Severus came out of the bathroom, clad in only his dark-green bathrobe and hair still dripping, Lupin wasn’t in the room, and a delicious smell filled the air.
He dressed quickly, and stepped into the sitting room, where he saw that the house-elves had brought them a full-course meal.

Remus was sitting at the table, and he smiled at him as soon as he appeared in the threshold.
Snape noticed that he’d changed, and now was wearing Muggle clothes: a soft-looking, brown jumper, and a pair of faded jeans.
The boy beckoned him to the table, obviously waiting for him to began eating.

Lupin tried to make some conversation at table, but his efforts were rewarded with a series of low grunts.
He sighed, and finished his portion of apple crumble before speaking again: “Severus, I know we’ve never been on the best of terms when we were at school…” Another grunt. “But, since we’re like this again, I thought… maybe… I thought that we could start it all over.”
Snape looked up from his own plate, eyes fixed on him: “Start what over, Lupin? We’ve never had anything to begin with.”
Remus looked hurt, Snape noticed, and he felt a sharp pang in his chest.
“Well, yes… you’re right… but… I thought…” he said, his amber gaze on his empty plate, hands twisting in his lap.

Severus sighed impatiently: “Very well, I’ll try not to insult you too much, then.”
He rose, and moved towards the side of the library filled with his own books. He chose one, and sat gracefully on the sofa.

All the while, Remus’ eyes never left him. The Gryffindor was mesmerized by Snape’s elegant hands and long fingers brushing gently over book covers, and suddenly he imagined those same long fingers over his naked skin, caressing and touching him everywhere.
He bit his lip to suppress a moan, and almost run to the library to choose a book himself, hoping that Snape wouldn’t notice the obvious bulge in his jeans.

He sat down on the other side of the sofa, book on his lap to hide any evidence, and began reading “Potions in the Middle Ages: a History”.
He really hoped this book would be as boring as he needed it to be…

Remus soon felt Snape’s gaze on him, and looked up.
The black-haired boy was indeed staring at him, and the young werewolf wondered why he never really noticed those black eyes before…
“Is there anything wrong?” he whispered.
“That’s my book.”
Lupin blinked and looked down at the book: “Well… yes… I was hoping I could borrow it… it’s rather interesting.”

Snape sneered, a sneer that looked suspiciously more like a smile to Remus.
“I take that as a yes, then.” said Lupin. He raised his feet on the sofa, and shifted until he found a comfortable position. His feet bumped against Snape’s, and he hastily retreated them closer to his body.

They were facing each other, and every now and then, Remus would look over his book at Severus.
His attention was drawn to Snape’s bare feet, pale and long, that looked even paler against the darkness of Severus’ soft, black pants.
Remus closed his eyes, and swore mentally. Fuck, he was getting another hard-on, and this time watching Snape’s feet!

He swore some more and willed himself to read on.
This time, though, he was on the receiving end of  the other boy’s glares, but, no matter how fast he was in rising his head, the black-haired boy always looked like he was deep in reading his book.

After a while, Remus felt his eyes sting from too much reading. He rose and stretched his limbs, slowly, like a cat.
“I’m going to take a bath, and then I’m going to bed, Severus.” he yawned.

Snape merely grunted in response, so the sandy-haired boy left the room.
He took his time, and when he stepped into their bedroom, after a long, warm, restoring bath, the young Potions Master was already asleep.
Lupin noticed that he didn’t draw the curtains around his bed, and smiled.

Snape woke up to the sound of birds, as the first light of dawn found its way through the curtains at the window.
And swore.
He swore because of the light. There was no sunlight in the dungeons, and he usually had no need to draw his bed-curtains. Hell, he didn’t even HAVE bed-curtains! And surely he wasn’t used to waking up to the annoying songs of birds…

He grunted, and swung his legs over the edge of the bed.
He stood, then walked to the other bed, looming over its still-asleep occupant.
As if on its own accord, his hand came up and brushed some locks from Lupin’s forehead, then, without making any sound, Snape turned around and walked to the bathroom.

He undressed, turned the shower on, and stepped under the warm water.
He was almost done, when he heard the door open.
He poked his head out of the shower curtains, furious: “Lupin, what on Salazar’s name do you think you’re doing?”

Remus stuck his toothbrush in his mouth, and began brushing: “Washing, if you haven’t guessed. We have only one bathroom, we need to share.”
And he bent over the sink, giving his back to a speechless Snape.

The view offered to the Slytherin was quite nice, though: Lupin was shamelessly wearing only his boxers, the shape of his nicely-shaped buttocks visible under the thin fabric. The skin of his back was lightly tanned, and covered with many small scars.
Severus had a sudden desire to run his hands over Lupin’s back, over each and every one of those scars, over his arse, licking and biting every inch of that lovely skin…
He retreated hastily under the shower, and remained still and silent until he heard Remus leave.
Only then, he slid his hand to his groin, grabbed his painfully-hard erection, and began stroking slowly.
Damn werewolf! And damn teenager hormones most of all!
He kept swearing, but couldn’t get rid of all those images of Remus’ swirling in his head, and with a few strokes he climaxed hard.
He waited until his breathing went back to normal, turned off the water, and stepped out.

The day passed slowly for them.
Apart from a visit from Dumbledore and Pomfrey, they spent it alone in their chambers, reading and, to Remus’ amazement, talking.
Lupin found out that Snape was a great person to talk to. Obviously, he knew that the Potions Master was an extremely intelligent and learned man, but he never had a chance to really talk to him.
And so they talked and talked, well after midnight, when they decided they’d better go to sleep.

Snape opened his eyes.
The room was still very dark, and the boy supposed it couldn’t be much later than 4 in the morning.
A noise had woken him up, a whine coming from the other bed.
He sat up, and rubbed his eyes.
He looked at the other boy: Lupin was clearly having a nightmare, and he sounded like he was almost crying: “No… no… don’t go…”
Severus snorted: he was probably dreaming about the dead mutt.
He tried to go back to sleep, but the other boy screamed: “NO! DON’T…”

Snape swore and got up. He strode to the other bed, ready to yell at Lupin to shut up and let him sleep, when the sandy-haired boy screamed a name.
Severus froze.

He shook Lupin’s shoulder, trying to wake him up.
The werewolf opened his eyes, slightly panting. He looked wildly around him, then rested his gaze on Snape.
“Severus…?”
“You were having a nightmare. You were screaming.”
Lupin sat up: “I’m sorry Severus, I’ve woken you up, haven’t I?”
“You called my name.”
Lupin’s breath caught, and didn’t say anything.
“At first I thought you were dreaming about Black, but… why did you scream my name, Lupin?”

The werewolf sighed, and laid back again on the bed. He rubbed his eyes with the balls of his hands, collecting his thoughts.
“Severus, I know you still have a grudge against me for what happened in our fifth year…”
”I bloody well do! You and your little Gryffindor friends tried to kill me!” Snape interrupted him.
Lupin removed his hands from his face, and looked at him: “I didn’t know about Sirius’ plans, how many times do I have to tell you?”
His voice was soft and tired, and Snape lowered his gaze, angry at himself for feeling a bit guilty.
“So… what does this have to do with your nightmare?” he growled.

Lupin was looking at the canopy now: “In my nightmare, I’m in the Shack, that night. I’ve already changed, but I still have my human mind, I’m sort of… trapped inside the wolf, I can see through its eyes. And I’m there… and I know you’re coming… and I know the wolf will attack you… but I don’t want to hurt you, so I try to warn you as soon as I see you… but… nothing but snarls and howls come out of my mouth… and you’re so scared… and I want to grab you and take you away from the wolf… from me!”
He shut his eyes, shivering and waiting for Snape’s angry words, who was sure were about to come.

Instead…
“Budge up.”
Remus’s eyes shot open, and he moved to the side of the bed as Snape climbed into it.
“Severus…? What are you doing?” he whispered.
“I’m making sure I won’t have to walk on this cold floor again tonight. If you wake me up once more, I’ll kick you.”
He slid under the covers, giving his back to Lupin, and fell asleep.

Snape slept until the room became bright enough to wake him up.
As soon as he opened his eyes, his conversation with Lupin merely a few hours before came back to him, and groaned.
He felt something heavy against him, and looked down: Lupin’s arm was draped over his chest, and Lupin’s leg was similarly laid over his legs.
Actually, the werewolf’s whole body was against his.
Snape opened his mouth to yell at him, then shut it again, tensing: Lupin’s body was rocking slowly, an unmistakable hardness pressing against his hip.

“Get off me, you damned canine! You’re humping my leg!” he growled, loud enough to wake the other boy.
“No.” came Remus’ reply, spoken in a calm voice.
“Don’t try to deny it, you ARE humping my leg, Lupin.”
“I meant, no, I won’t get off.” Lupin spoke in the same calm voice, this time raising his head a little and placing a soft kiss on Snape’s neck.

The Slytherin tried to jerk away, but Remus tightened his hold on him and kept him in place.
“What the hell are you doing, Lupin?” Severus almost screamed.
“Something I’ve been wanting to do since we were at school…” answered the werewolf, leaving a wet trail of kisses all over Snape’s neck.
He reached his earlobe, and sucked it gently, thus eliciting a low hiss from the other boy.

Slowly, he kissed his way along Snape’s jaw, towards his mouth.
He kissed his lips lightly, then looked him in the eye: “Merlin, you don’t even know how much I wanted this, Severus…”

Remus had moved, and now was half-laying on top of Snape, effectively pinning him to the mattress.
Without warning, the sandy-haired boy crushed his lips against Snape’s, who opened his mouth to complain. Lupin took advantage of this and slipped his tongue inside his mouth.

Snape groaned, but soon began kissing him back, wrapping his arms behind his neck and pulling him closer.
Their tongues explored each other’s mouth hungrily, none of them wanting to be the one to end the kiss, but, eventually, they had to.

Remus grinned at Snape before nipping at his lower lip, while his hand snaked down between their bodies and found its way under the other boy’s nightshirt, and inside his boxers.

Snape gasped when the werewolf’s warm hand closed around his cock, and began fisting it.
He was painfully hard, and he wasn’t completely sure he could blame it only on his hormones.
His hips thrust upwards, to meet Lupin’s hand, head bent to one side as the sandy-haired boy bit his neck.

Snape’s hands cupped Remus’ head, and pulled it up.
The Slytherin looked briefly at him with lust-glazed eyes, and stuck his tongue out, tip licking the other boy’s lower lip.
Remus growled, and kissed him fiercely, while his hand pumped his cock faster, until he heard him moan in his mouth, and felt the warm liquid cover his hand.

“This is what I’ve always truly wanted, Severus…” he purred in Snape’s ear, “to have you writhing and moaning in my arms, calling out my name as you come…”

He lifted his come-covered hand, and licked it clean, rolling over on his back.
The black-haired boy moaned at the sight, thinking that he looked more like a cat than a wolf.
A very perverted cat at that…

Snape moved and straddled the smaller boy, who merely grinned at him.
He bent and kissed and nibbled Remus’ neck, eliciting a series of soft moans from him.
His hands roamed to the hem of Lupin’s nightshirt, grabbed it and lifted it, exposing his naked torso.

Severus kissed his way down, until he reached the waistband of Lupin’s boxers.
He pulled them down, and licked his lips at the sight of the other boy’s leaking prick. He lapped at the clear drops covering the tip, then took the head between his lips, and sucked gently.
Slowly, he took more and more of that nice cock into his mouth, pressing with his tongue on the underside.

Lupin entwined his fingers in Snape’s hair, trying his best not to thrust into that talented mouth.
He couldn’t believe that he was really in bed with Severus, and that the boy was giving him such a great blowjob. He was sliding up and down his cock, and sucking, and licking, and teasing his slit with his tongue, and… oh! With a strangled moan, he came down Snape’s throat, clenchig his fists in his hair.
He laid panting on the bed, and when Snape rose and laid beside him, he pulled him close and kissed him deeply.

They stayed like this, without moving nor talking, just holding each other, for some minutes, until they smelled the breakfast that the house-elves had brought them.

Dumbledore and Pomfrey paid them a visit, just like the day before, but they brought no news.
“I’m sorry children, we still haven’t been able to discover what Mr Longbottom created exactly with that potions. I’m afraid you’ll have to stay here for the time being.” The Headmaster’s eyes twinkled as he rose to leave: “I’m sure you’ll find a way to spend the time pleasurably.”

Luckily, he didn’t turn around, so he didn’t have to see the two boys flush.

Severus picked up his book and sat down on one end of the sofa.
Remus sat on the other end and, grinning, crawled to where Snape was, took his book from his hands and put it on the coffee table. He sat on the other boy’s lap, and began kissing him, not caring about his feeble complaints.

They kissed and groped until lunch appeared, which they wolfed down hungrily.
In the afternoon, they reached an agreement: Snape would allow Lupin to sit in his lap, cuddling happily, and in return, Lupin would let Snape read his book.

The Slytherin admitted to himself that it wasn’t so bad after all, having the werewolf hanging all over him like that. He was beginning to feel a nice warmth in his chest, and dreaded the moment in which Albus would find the counter-potion.

All thoughts about counter-potions disappeared when night came, though.
Snape was putting his nightshirt over his head, when Lupin’s hands stopped him.
“Lupin! What…”
“It’s Remus.” the werewolf interrupted him. “Take it off, Severus, I want to feel your skin tonight.”

Snape tried to fight some more, but, at the end, he let Lupin have his way.
“Fine, then.… do as you please.” he sighed, taking off his nightshirt.
He moved to climb onto the bed, but Remus stopped him again, and, grinning, grabbed the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down.
“Wha…”
“No clothes tonight, I told you.” Lupin’s grin grew wider.

Severus sighed again, shed his boxers, and slid under the covers.
Remus undressed quickly and followed him in bed.

He spooned behind Snape, arm draped over his stomach and head resting on his shoulder, and he sighed, contented.

Severus’ hand covered his: “Remus?” he whispered in the dark. “You’ve been… acting strange. Stranger than your usual, I mean. I’ve never seen you so bold…”

Lupin smiled against Snape’s shoulder: “I guess it’s being sixteen again, and the fact that it’s just the two of us… I’m not a Gryffindor for nothing, after all.”
He kissed the skin against his lips: “Sleep now.”
Snape grunted; “I don’t need you to tell me what to do, thank you very much.”
But he said no more, and soon both boys fell asleep.

The Potions Master opened his eyes, and sighed.
His hand traveled over the arm still on his stomach, and found it… hairy. Much hairier than it was the day before.
He stopped, and looked down.

“Lupin? Wake up, Lupin.”
When he got no response, he pinched him. He smirked as Lupin yelped, and removed his arm.
“What did you do that for, Severus?”

Snape turned around to face him, and saw Lupin’s eyebrows rise quickly.
“We… how…” he babbled.
“I guess the potion wore off.” explained Snape.
Lupin was beaming now: “That’s great, Severus!”
“Yes, I guess it is.” sighed the Slytherin, standing up and charming his now-too-small clothes to fit him.

Remus frowned, and got up as well.
“What’s wrong?”
Snape didn’t answer, and began buttoning his shirt.

Lupin hugged him from behind, and kissed him on the neck: “You didn’t think I’d change my mind about you when we went back to normal, did you?” he said playfully.
Snape tensed, and Remus sighed.
“You did, didn’t you?”
The Potions Master stepped away from him, and walked to the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

“Oh no Severus,” whispered Remus, “I’m not going to stand and do nothing again, not this time.”


Snape was back in his quarters now, left to face yet another night, alone.
Damn that werewolf! He’d never noticed how lonely his life was, not until Lupin decided that he’d hit on him.
He looked through his liquor cabinet: he didn’t feel like anything strong, but he didn’t have any wine either.

His thoughts were interrupted by someone knocking.
He strode to the door and opened it, ready to snarl at whoever was on the other side.

Lupin was grinning behind a bottle of wine, held at face height.
He didn’t wait for Snape to invite him in, but stepped inside, and headed for the sofa.

Snape smirked and closed the door behind him.

END
 

A.N.: I know this isn’t really canon!Snape, but, what can I say, Alan Rickman has a veeeeery bad influence on me…