Title: To Be a Father
Author: Draconn Malfoy
Feedback: lionora@hotmail.com
Summary: When Remus Lupin is badly injured during a full moon, Severus Snape
suddenly finds out that he’s a father. Slipping into a father’s role isn’t
easy, especially when worry about Remus is pressing him.
Challenge: 19) A slight variation on the mpreg Snape/Lupin fics - this time
it’s Lupin who ended up pregnant. Perhaps at the same he found out that
Snape was a DE, without realizing he also worked for Dumbledore?
Rating: PG-13
A/N: "Sandrine Raïssa" is, at least by my French book, pronounced "Sãd-rin
Rai-sa." I picked a French name for her, because Lupin is a French name (and
was also found in my French book. ^_^) I know it’s kind of a cliché to have
Remus French or half-French, but hey, maybe he’s English and just happens to
like those names!
To Be a Father
"Yes?" Andromeda Tonks asked, raising her eyes at her husband. "What it is,
"I just wonder..." Ted sighed, then let the Daily Prophet down from his
hands. "The full moon was the day before yesterday. Have you heard of Remus
Andromeda paled immediately. "Oh, sweet Merlin," she whispered. "You are
right, Ted. He hasn’t owled us yet."
"And he always does," Ted said. "Every day after the full moon, he owls us.
He’s never failed to contact us before."
"What do you mean?" Nymphadora, their daughter asked. "Who hasn’t owled
yet?" She had just come down in all her fifteen-year-old glory. Today, she
had fair blonde hair and bright green eyes. She’d been really good-looking,
if only there hadn’t been chocolate stains on her white blouse and wrinkles
on her skirt. She should have been in Hogwarts by now, but she’d somehow
managed to catch a disastrous magical flu just in the end of the summer, so
she was still staying at home for recovery. She’d return to school after a
week, though.
"Remus hasn’t," Andromeda replied her. "And we’re worried something might
have happened."
"Why don’t you go and check on him, then?" she suggested.
The adults exchanged glances. "Well, you see, Nymphadora... We’ve promised
him not to check up on him," Andromeda said uneasily.
"Right," Ted said, and sighed. "I don’t know if anybody has truly seen him
ever since the Potters’ death. He’s only owling us, regularly once a week,
and always on the day after the full moon."
"Why he keeps owling you?" the young witch asked curiously. "At least, why
so regularly? Is there some reason or something?"
"In fact..." Ted looked thoughtful. "There indeed _is_ a reason, now when I
think more about it. Your mother, you see, wouldn’t let him just live alone,
not when anything might happen. Especially the full moons made her worried."
"So I made him make a promise," Andromeda continued, now remembering herself
the years-old events. "We would stay away as long as he’d owl us. An owl
each week, and one on the day after the transformation." She turned towards
Ted, a smile on her face. "So we _can_ go and check on him," she realized.
"So we can," Ted replied. "And we will. I’m worried now, too. He’s never
missed a single owl. He’s, at least, kept his promise."
"You go ahead, don’t worry about me," Nymphadora said happily. "I’ll just
make some tea, I’m not going anywhere."
Andromeda rolled her eyes towards the ceiling, again exchanging glances with
Ted as they both stood to Disapparate. She’d left her wand to the sitting
room, so she walked there. Just as she grasped on her wand on the little
table, she heard a loud crash and Nymphadora’s voice, "Oh, Mum, I’m so
_sorry_... But you never liked that tea pot anyway, now did you?"
Chuckling slightly, she grasped on her wand and murmured the words required
for moving with magic. With a loud, "CRACK," she Disapparated.
A moment later, Andromeda and Ted both stood in front of a little cottage.
They watched around themselves for a while, taking in the unfamiliar
It all looked quite good, actually. The tiny garden around the cottage was
well cared, a couple of late flowers still blooming in the flower beds. The
cottage itself, although seemingly old, had a tidy, white paint to its
walls, and was seemingly in a good condition. All in all, it looked like
Remus took care of his home.
Worried about the werewolf himself, they walked to the door. Andromeda
raised her hand and knocked on the door, loudly.
For a moment, they heard nothing. Just as they prepared to open the door, it
was opened from the inside. They stepped forward to look at Remus.
They stared at the little girl in front of them.
She had the familiar amber eyes of Remus, and the same round face and pale
skin. Even her slightly pointy nose was the same as they’d so many times
seen in their friend’s face. But her long hair wasn’t brown; it was the
darkest, most silken raven hair they’d ever seen, and it fell on a braid to
her waist. She was wearing a tiny blue robe, and for her size she looked
about five years old.
"Who... Who are you?" Andromeda managed to ask at last, after getting over
the worst shock. "And what are you doing here?"
"My name is Sandrine Raïssa Lupin-Snape," the girl said, her voice blank
like she’d been repeating some memorized speech. "My Mommy was hurt at full
moon, and my father is Severus Snape. Mommy left you a letter. Can you help
At this, their staring didn’t at least lessen.
The girl became uneasy under their gazes. "Come and help Mommy," she
pleaded. "Mommy’s sick and I can’t help him!"
Stunned, they followed the little girl when she walked through the little
apartment. When the girl then opened the door of a little bedroom, they
stepped inside after her.
"Mommy, they came!" she exclaimed. "Just like you said! They came!" She ran
to the bed, where lay an almost motionless form.
"Remus?" Andromeda breathed, shocked. She looked at her old friend. The
werewolf was lying on his bed, looking halfly unconscious. He had deep cuts
on his face, he was deathly pale, and he looked as if he’d been starved, he
was so thin.
Remus raised his eyes at them. "Andromeda," he said, his voice raspy and
tired. "You remembered..." Then he closed his eyes and didn’t speak anymore.
"Mommy?" the girl said, distress in her voice. "Mommy? Mommy, wake up!" She
looked at the two adults, tiny tears shining in her amber eyes. "Help me,
please?" she asked. "Mommy’s sick. He always wakes up when I ask him!"
Andromeda crouched down and reached her arms to the girl. "Don’t worry,
little one," she said, her own voice hoarse with tears. "We will help your
mommy. Promise."
Ted walked beside Remus’s bed and tried his pulse. "Alive," he said. "But
unconscious. I don’t think it’d be wise to move him - we don’t know what
happened to him."
"He was hurt at full moon," the girl said, not coming to Andromeda’s arms.
She fiddled nervously with one raven lock of her hair. "When he was a wolf.
The wolf hurt him."
"The wolf?" Andromeda echoed, shocked. "He was a wolf? How come the wolf
didn’t harm you?"
"I’m his cub," the girl explained with a tone one uses when telling
something very simple to some very little child. "A wolf never harms its
cub." Then she glanced again at Remus. "Are you able to help him?"
"I hope so, little one," Andromeda said, not even trying to stop the tears
rolling down her cheeks. "I really hope so." She reached her arms out again,
and this time, the girl stepped in nearer her. She hugged her tightly,
trying to calm down herself as much as the child. Then she let her go a bit
away and smiled as calmly as she could. "So what was your name?" she asked.
"Sandrine Raïssa Lupin-Snape," she replied, pronouncing the name the French
way. "Lupin is for Mommy and Snape is for my father, but he doesn’t know of
"I understand," Andromeda replied, despite that she didn’t understand at
all. "You said something about a letter?"
"Oh!" Sandrine exclaimed, her expression lightening again. "Yes! Mommy left
a letter to give you."
"He knew we were coming?" she asked. This fact was a bit shocking. Remus, in
his current condition, was really unable to write anything. Therefore, he
had had to write the letter before the full moon.
He had been predicting something like that.
"Of course," Sandrine replied carelessly. "He said that if he gets hurt or
dies, two people will come here and those people are nice and I should trust
them. And I should tell them who I am and give them a letter, and you came,
just like he said." Then she pulled away from her and ran out of the room.
Andromeda and Ted exchanged glances.
"Well?" Andromeda asked nervously as Ted finished his examination.
"He’ll live," Ted replied briefly. "If we get help immediately. I’ll go and
get others here as well, you take care of the girl."
"Right," she nodded. Then, with a wondering tone, she said, "You know...
What she said about her father..."
Ted nodded. "Figures," he just said. "Remember how Remus seemed to get
better along with Snape than anyone else did?"
Andromeda could nothing but agree. "I only wonder why he didn’t tell
"He had his reasons, I’m sure." With these words, Ted Disapparated.
"Where did he go?" Andromeda heard a little voice from the doorway.
"He went to get help for your mommy," she said, smiling slightly. Then she
noticed something in the girl’s hand. "Is that the letter?" she asked.
Sandrine nodded. "You should read it," she said, then climbed to Remus’s bed
and sat on the foot of the bed, very careful not to touch her werewolf
Andromeda unfolded the parchment.
"Andromeda, Ted, if it is you," the letter read. "Or anyone else. If you’re
reading this letter, it means that I’ve been hurt or died during the
transformation at full moon. Therefore, I ask for your help.
"The girl who gave you this letter is my daughter, Sandrine. Sandrine Raïssa
Lupin-Snape. She was born 6th of June, 1982. For the grace of Merlin, she’s
not lycanthropic. Her father, like she’s already told you, was really
Severus Snape, whom I am asking you to inform of the case."
She blinked. Obviously Remus had indeed been predicting something like this.
Most probably he had written this letter ages ago, as well as taught his
daughter how she should behave when "the two people," Andromeda and Ted,
came. She also realized that the girl was almost seven, not five, like she’d
thought - she was simply as small and light-build as Remus always was.
"If I’m dead or I die to my injuries, I ask Severus to take care of the
child, or in the case he’s unable or unwilling to do so, Andromeda and Ted
Tonks, who are her godmother and -father. She’ll attend Hogwarts 1993, for
she’s already shown signs of magic. I leave everything in my possession to
her - not that it was very much. The key of my vault in Gringotts, 113, is
in the top drawer of my nightstand.
"I can only ask that you help me and my little daughter.
"Remus Lupin"
"What it reads?" Sandrine asked as soon as she let the letter down from her
"Not much." She shook her head. "Just who you are, when you were born, and
who you’d live with if something happened to him." She looked at the girl.
"Has he left this letter to you every full moon?"
Sandrine nodded. "He’s told that when I was too young to give it he fastened
it on my clothes." She studied her carefully. "What’s your name?" she asked
"Andromeda Tonks," she replied. "You can call me Andromeda. And my husband,
he who left, is Ted."
"Okay." Sandrine nodded. "Dad said that I should trust you, and I think he
was right. You are nice."
"Thank you," she said, smiling slightly.
Suddenly, they heard the door opening. "Where is he?" a female voice called.
"He’s over here," Andromeda called back. She was relieved. She recognized
the voice of Daniela Smithson - a member of the Order, yes, but also an
experienced mediwitch. She’d surely be able to help Remus.
Soon Daniela rushed in the room. She raised an eyebrow as she saw Sandrine,
but didn’t ask anything - Daniela was never one to show her curiousity.
Instead of that, she fixed her eyes on Remus. "Uh-oh," she murmured, shaking
her head. After a brief examination much similar to the one Ted had done,
she snapped her tongue. "We have to get him to St. Mungo’s."
"Is it safe to move him there?" Andromeda asked suspiciously.
"I think so," Daniela replied, brushing a lock of her golden hair behind her
ear. "But we have to wait until Ted returns, he told he’d go and get Mark
and Louis."
"Mark and Louis?" Andromeda couldn’t help but chuckle. "And how, pray tell,
they’re going to be of use in this case?"
Daniela eyed her sharply. "They maybe aren’t mediwizards, but they _can_ be
of use," she said. "Remember that Mark is allowed to create Portkeys
whenever he sees it necessary - a real benefit of having a Ministry official
for husband - and Louis is strong enough to carry Remus during the
Portkeying and not fall or drop him when we arrive to the hospital."
Andromeda nodded. "I’ll take the girl to our place," she said. "If Remus is
going to hospital, somebody has to take care of her until we inform the
other father."
Daniela nodded briefly, but still didn’t ask anything - something she was
very grateful of. If Daniela had asked something, she’d soon ask questions
Andromeda didn’t have answers for - like how and when and why.
"Are you hungry?" she asked Sandrine.
"A bit," the girl admitted. "I ate chocolate in the morning, but then I’ve
been helping Mommy and didn’t have time to eat anything else."
She nodded. "Show me to the kitchen and we’ll get you something to eat,
okay?" she smiled. "Don’t worry. Daniela will take good care of your mommy."
Sandrine nodded and slid off the bed. She followed Andromeda to the kitchen,
not saying a word at the whole time.
"We now know what’s wrong with your friend," said the mediwitch whom
Andromeda had just questioned about Remus’s current state. "Seemingly, as he
transformed the last full moon, there was a scent of a stranger in his
house. As the wolf’s not used to the scent of anybody but he and his cub, he
went practically mad. Trying to reach the stranger but not being able to, he
bit and clawed himself much worse than usually, as well as flung himself
against walls several times. He has not only deep cuts and wounds, but also
severe internal injuries."
Gasping in surprise, Andromeda pressed her hands tightly together. "Will
-will he recover?" she asked, desperate for an answer.
"Hopefully, yes," the mediwitch replied. "He has all the possibilities for
full recovery, if everything goes all right." Glancing at her papers, she
then asked, "Is there anybody who’s able to take care of the child during
Mr. Lupin’s time in hospital?"
"Yes," she replied firmly. "I and my husband will take care of her, like
Remus wished, if nothing else helps. However, like Remus also asked in his
letter, I’m first going to contact the girl’s other father."
"Very well." The mediwitch scribbled something to her papers, then said, "Do
you want to send the owl now? Sandrine’s currently under the care of one of
our mediwitches, you need not to worry about her."
"Yes, I do believe that’d be the best."
Severus Snape frowned as an owl pecked on the window of his personal
quarters. Getting up from the couch, he walked to the window and opened it,
allowing the bird inside. The owl flew inside, dropped a note to the table,
then flew away again, seemingly not having been instructed to wait for a
Frowning again, Severus picked up the piece of parchment. "There’s somebody
in St. Mungo’s who’d like to see you," he read from the little note. "He’s
in the room number 237. Arrive as soon as possible. - Andromeda Tonks" He
snorted. Whoever might require his presence? Even less, anybody who’d get
Tonks to contact Severus instead of sending an owl himself? He turned the
note around to see if there was any kind of explanation there.
Seeing the other side of the note, he froze. With the same, neat
handwriting, there was written on the other side of the note, "P.S. If you
ever loved Remus, you’ll come. - AT"
Severus remembered all those quiet nights, lying next to his lover, his arms
wrapped around the narrow waist, Remus’s head pressed against his shoulder.
Also, he remembered all whispered promises of love, all quiet, warm
assurances of caring they’d exchanged on those long nights, as well as the
days that had flew past whenever he was with Remus, but crawled painfully
slowly when he was separated from his only love. He remembered every moment
of every day he’d spent with Remus, every wave of warmth flowing through his
body from a simple touch by the werewolf, every quiet moment of shared love.
But more than anything, he remembered the hurt look on Remus’s face as he’d
told the werewolf that he didn’t love him anymore. And he remembered the
guilt and hurt in his own heart for lying to his lover.
He’d had to do it - at least that was what he kept telling himself.
Voldemort liked nothing more than using people’s loved ones against them. If
his relationship to Remus had been discovered, Remus would have been hurt as
a punishment to him every time he failed the Dark Lord. Or, even worse, the
werewolf would have been forced to turn to the Dark, and that was a fate
he’d never wish to his lover.
When Voldemort then had been defeated, only a couple of days after their
break-up, he had been relieved - nothing could harm Remus now. But, he’d
also been disappointed, for Remus hated him by now. There was no backing up
once he’d said those words.
He hadn’t forgotten his love during the years. He’d grown a thick, hard
cover, true. He never showed any feelings to anyone. But sometimes, he hoped
it could have been different - that maybe he could have lived with Remus.
The worst the ache for different was when he saw children - not the annoying
brats he had to teach every day, no, but little children with big eyes and
adorable smiles. Whenever he saw them, he dared to think that they could be
his. He and Remus’s. He wanted nothing as much as their child; a little
piece of the perfection that was Remus, even tainted with his own darkness,
was more than he could ever ask for.
But, he’d loved Remus. He still did.
Severus Snape left his dungeons. Once he reached the outside of the
un-Apparating wards of the school, he immediately Disapparated, just to
Apparate to an alley near St. Mungo’s Hospital.
Room number 237. There it was, right in front of him.
Severus thought about the possibilites still one time. He assumed it was
Remus who’d asked the Tonks woman to contact him. But what could have
happened to Remus?
‘Try again,’ he thought bitterly to himself, ‘what _couldn’t_ have happened
to him?’
There were so many possibilities. Maybe something had gone wrong during the
transformation? Maybe some werewolf-haters had found out what he was and
attacked him? Or maybe he’d just got an illness, something that his
werewolf’s immune system couldn’t fight down?
Whatever it was, there was only one way to find out. And that way was to
step inside. With a deep breath, the Potions Master opened the door,
entering the hospital room.
Severus stared at the two people in the room. On the hospital bed lay indeed
Remus Lupin, looking extremely thin and sickly and weak. On a little chair
next to the bed sat a little girl, maybe around six, doodling on a piece of
parchment. She was wearing a green robe with blue linings, and her long,
black hair was fastened on a ponytail. Other than the black hair, she looked
like a miniature replica of the werewolf.
"Who are you?" the girl asked, raising her glowing amber eyes at him as he
had stood there for a moment, too stunned  to say anything.
"Me? I’m Severus Snape," he replied, forcing himself to snap back to
"Really?" The girl’s face seemed to light up. She dropped the parchment and
quill on the floor, got on her feet and ran to him. "My name is Sandrine
Raïssa Lupin-Snape," she said cheerfully. "You are my father."
"Err... Excuse me?" He merely stared at the girl. He had misheard her or
something. This couldn’t be true, this was too bizarre to be true.
The girl - Sandrine? - smiled. "Mommy told that you don’t know," she said,
"but you are." Then she turned around. "Isn’t he my father, Mommy?" she
asked loudly. She skipped to the side of the bed and asked again, "Isn’t
There was no reply.
"Don’t play with me, Mommy," she moaned. "Mommy, say something!" She turned
her head to look at Severus, who was still too stunned to move. "Say
something to him," she commanded firmly. "He was just awake. Tell him to
stop playing and reply me!"
Severus forced himself to walk forward. He stopped beside the bed and looked
at the motionless form laying on it. "Um... Lupin?" he asked uncertainly.
"Lupin? Wake up!"
Still, the werewolf didn’t reply.
Feeling slightly nervous, and feeling the girl’s intense gaze fixed on
himself, he reached out a hand and tested the pulse. It was there, but it
was very weak - almost non-existant.
Without hesitating a moment, he pressed the button that was used to call a
mediwitch on the place.
"What now?" Sandrine asked, sounding worried. "Is something wrong with
"Nothing is wrong," he said, faking a smile. "Your... mommy... is just a bit
tired. I called a mediwitch to take care of him."
"Good." The girl still didn’t take her gaze of him.
"What’s bothering you now?" he asked, feeling slightly nervous under the
gaze of those amber eyes.
"Mommy said that if something happens, somebody has to take care of me," she
replied. "He said that if you don’t want to, then Andromeda and Ted will. Do
"Do I what?" Severus hadn’t felt nervous for many, many years. Not even
during his trial. The last time had been... The last time had been when he
had had to dumb Remus in order to keep him safe.
"Do you want to take care of me until Mommy gets better, of course."
"Well..." He hesitated for a moment, then sighed. "Yes," he said with a very
quiet voice. "Yes, I do."
"Ah, Severus!" Dumbledore exclaimed as he saw who was entering his office.
"What was it?" Then he noticed the little girl beside the Potions Master,
and his eyes widened.
"May I introduce you to my daughter, Headmaster?" Severus asked dryly.
"Sandrine, this is Headmaster Albus Dumbledore. Albus, this is Sandrine
Lupin-Snape, my daughter."
"Lupin-Snape, eh?" Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled a bit. "I didn’t know that you
and Remus were... such close friends."
"Well, we were," he snapped. "Until I had to leave him in order to keep him
safe from the Dark Lord. Apparently, he was already pregnant at that point."
"Oh, yes." Dumbledore nodded. "And nobody ever knew... Not a surprise,
considering how alone he’s been living." Then he glanced again at the girl.
"Well, Sandrine... How Severus came aware of you now?"
"Mommy was hurt at full moon," she replied. "Andromeda and Ted came and they
took him to hospital. Then they asked father there and I told him he is my
"I see." Dumbledore nodded. "I take it that you’re looking after her at
least until Remus gets better, right?"
"Right," he nodded. "But I don’t want anyone other know her true identitety
yet. I think she’ll go as my niece."
"Sandrine Snape," the girl added. "We talked about it already."
"I see." Dumbledore’s eyes twinkled. "A lemon drop, Miss Snape?"
Sandrine wrinkled her nose. "No, thanks," she said, trying to hide a shudder
as she looked at the candies.
The Headmaster chuckled. "You’re really Severus’s daughter, I see," he
laughed. "He never could stand lemon drops, either."
"Mommy says that lemon drops are bad for your health," the girl replied
Severus smirked slightly at Dumbledore’s shocked expression. "I always
thought that Remus had a good taste," he murmured quietly. "Obviously it
goes as well to other things as to his taste of men."
"I, personally, think that you corrupted him," the Headmaster replied,
raising his eyebrows, as he’d got over the worst surprise. "You see, anyone
who doesn’t like lemon drops has to be sick. And because it’s some kind of
illness, it can be sexually transferable."
"That was tasteless, Albus," Severus replied with a dry snort. "Please,
remain in the topic. I suppose she can stay in my quarters?"
"Of course, of course," the old wizard promised right away. "It’s only nice
to have some more life around here. Students of course bring a lot of lively
laugh to these cold corridors, but even the first-years nowadays think
they’re too old to play - which is not true, of course. But, it’d be lovely
to have Sandrine stay here."
"You’re pathetic," the Slytherin said smoothly, with no malice behind his
"That I am," Dumbledore replied with a little twinkle in his eyes. "Could
you excuse me for a moment while I send a letter? Then we can go to the
Great Hall for a dinner."
Severus had little options but agree. So, he watched attentively as Sandrine
- after Dumbledore’s cheerful permission - examined curiously all weird
apparatuses around the Headmaster’s office, while the old man himself wrote
a short note, fastened it to Fawkes’s leg, and sent the phoenix to his way.
Then, they left the office, starting to make their way towards the Great
Hall. Sandrine kept tightly on Severus’s hand, answering more or less shyly
to the Headmaster’s questionings about she and Remus’s life alone in her
Mommy’s little cottage.
As soon as they entered the Great Hall, Severus felt somebody watching him.
Not Sandrine, but him. He looked towards the Staff Table and noticed several
eyes locked on himself - one Anna Sinistra’s particularly attentively.
"Oi, Severus!" Sinistra exclaimed with a self-satisfied grin. "I heard you
had a daughter around, but I didn’t believe. Looks like I was wrong, though.
What is her name?"
Severus glared at Dumbledore, who merely chuckled, looking so innocent that
he for sure had arranged this. Sandrine looked up at him, a question evident
in her eyes.
Severus took a deep breath. If Albus had indeed decided to spill it around,
there was no use keeping it secret anymore. "Yes, this is my daughter," he
said clearly, keeping his voice as calm as he could. "Sandrine Snape. Does
this satisfy your curiosity, dear Anna?"
At least half of the current occupiers of the Great Hall turned to stare at
him at those words. He purposefully ignored them as he walked with his
daughter and the Headmaster to the Staff Table as gracefully as only he
could manage. He noticed with a slight satisfaction that Sandrine moved with
just equal grace as he, looking like she’d been sliding instead of walking.
They made their way to the table, where three chairs in the middle were
unoccupied. The Headmaster sat down on his own. Severus put Sandrine on
another, whispering into her ear, "Try to avoid telling who your Mommy is by
now, okay? We’ll tell them later as it’s the time for them to know."
She nodded, without saying anything. Severus glanced around at the other
teachers. They were all staring at him in disbelief and suspicions.
"I’ll murder you for this, Albus Dumbledore," he muttered under his breath
as he sat down between the Headmaster and his daughter.
"Why so? It’s about the time you claim your daughter," the older wizard told
calmly, his eyes never lacking the unnerving twinkle, but a little hint of
steel flashing in them with those words.
"Father?" asked a tiny voice next to him, and he froze for a second. Then he
turned around to look at the little girl. He felt as if his heart would melt
as he looked at the amber eyes, so similar to his long-lost lover’s eyes.
"Yes, Sandrine?" he asked back, forcing himself to stay clam. His voice was
lacking its usual sharp, cool tone, however, like it had been every time
he’d been talking to his daughter. This didn’t go unnoticed by the nearby
teachers, who exchanged surprised glances.
"Why are so many people staring at me?" she asked, looking nervously around
the Great Hall.
"Well, they rarely see other children but students here," he explained her,
not daring to tell her that most people in the school had right now very
hard time believing that anybody might have been willing to sleep with him
even once, leave alone have a child with him. "I think the last time was
before you were even born. The first year I was teaching here, our old
Charms teacher, Professor Batwing, had a little girl. She was ten years old.
When it was her time to go to a wizarding school, well, both the professor
and her daughter left to Beauxbatons."
"Why?" Sandrine asked, puzzled. "That’s stupid! They could as well have
stayed here!"
"So they could," he agreed. "But, well, Batwing didn’t really like me. The
thought of having to stay at least the next seven years here was seemingly
too much for her."
Sandrine chuckled, sounding so much like her other father that Severus had
to fight down the urge to glance around him and search for Remus. Then she
concentrated on her meal, not saying another word for quite some time.
After some time, however, Sinistra, who was sitting next to her, decided to
try and have a little discussion with her. "Where you’ve been staying until
now?" she asked the little girl.
"I’ve been with my Mommy," Sandrine told. "Now Mommy got sick and went to
hospital. So, I had to go to my Father."
"Why hasn’t Severus ever mentioned you?" asked Sprout, who was sitting on
the other side of Sinistra. "You would imagine he’d talk about his daughter,
after all. Especially if the daughter was as pretty as you are," she added
with a little smile. Unknown to herself, and to everyone other, since
Severus would have never admitted it to anyone, her points in Severus’s eyes
raised quite a lot at that comment. Even though she was a Hufflepuff.
"Father didn’t know about me," Sandrine said calmly, trying in vain to cut
her beef. "Mommy never told him about me. They weren’t keeping contact." She
tried again cut the beef, failing again. Not a miracle. Although Remus had
kept sure she got fed properly, Severus doubted they’d had beef for meal too
He watched the girl’s efforts for some time. Then he gently took the fork
and knife from her hands and cut the beef to neat, small pieces, just the
right size for the girl to be eaten. "There," he said, and then continued
eating his own meal, determinedly ignoring the disbelieving stares he was
receiving from half the teachers and the majority of the students.
He followed closely the little conversation that was born between Sandrine
and the nearby teachers. None of them dared to ask anything from Severus
himself, but they were all trying to milk information from Sandrine,
listening closely to every and each of her answers.
Sandrine didn’t give away anything, though. She managed to keep to herself
even the fact that her ‘Mommy’ was actually male. She was a smart girl,
really - although that wasn’t a miracle. Both her fathers had got full
twelve OWLs and NEWTs as they’d still been at school.
Severus noticed that he hadn’t been careful for nothing. Not a few students
were closely listening to the conversation. Everything that was said would
be known by the whole school before the night. He knew that before or later
everyone would know about Sandrine’s true parentage, but he was going to
push that moment as far to the future as only possible. It would bring too
much questions, too much suspicions, too much breaks to the mask he’d
carefully built and maintained for all these years.
At last, the meal was over. Severus had planned to get Sandrine to his own
quarters as soon as possible, but Dumbledore insisted that they should go to
the staff room for a moment. "Don’t worry," the twinkle-eyed old wizard said
as he tried to refuse. "I’ll have an extra room created for Sandrine while
you’re there. And Andromeda is currently collecting her things from her
previous home. Everything will be taken care of. Now, let your daughter be
Dumbledore was right. Even though teachers in majority didn’t like Severus
particularly, and some were even scared of him, they all were charmed by
Sandrine’s big golden eyes and slightly shy behaviour. Well, almost all of
them - the Muggle Studies teacher, Professor Simmons, and the DADA teacher,
Professor Hamilton, kept giving the girl suspicious glances. Also, even 
though Sinistra was cooing around her just like the other female professors,
Severus sometimes caught a calculating glint in her eyes as she looked at
him. Well, once a Slytherin, always a Slytherin.
Argus Filch looked like he didn’t know what to do. He hated children in
general. True, more true than anybody might even guess. But, Severus was one
of the rare people he might call even relatively friends of his, and he
definitely was, leave Dumbledore and McGonagall, the only one he had any
respect for in the other staff.
Poppy Pomfrey insisted to check her health. As she announced that Sandrine
was in perfect health, Severus puffed and muttered under his breath, "Of
course she is." This gained him not a few curious glances, but he didn’t
The other women were just as hopeless. Vector gave her a couple of Chocolate
Frogs, winning the girl’s heart to herself, and Sprout promised - although
only after a questioning glance to Severus and receiving a brief nod in
response - to give her some of her nicest plants. "To give some life to the
dungeons," Hooch added, earning a sharp glare from Severus. Flitwick even
charmed a chair to dance, making Sandrine giggle happily.
Thorough the evening Severus nodded that he’d started assorting his
collagues by their behaviour towards his daughter. Flitwick, Vector,
Pomfrey, and Sprout, whom he’d mostly ignored before, didn’t seem quite as
bad as before even though they were from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff.
McGonagall, who’d broken her usually strict mask to give the girl an
approving glance, also got points from him. The others, however... Hooch and
Kettleburn, who in general ignored Sandrine, had to be somehow stupid. Filch
also lost himself by saying a couple of nasty words, which he’d regret later
as Severus let Peeves into his office. Trelawney, who almost scared Sandrine
out of her skin and then kept saying that the girl was "talentless and
pitiful," as well as faking Sinistra and the openly hostile professors
Simmons and Hamilton, well, they were in for some quite hard time very soon.
That meant that most of his human relationship had just took a turn to
better or worse over completely irrational reasons and favoritism - and
nobody would even blame him for it, taking it as just natural behaviour in
that situation.
Severus noticed that he might like being a father after all.
"Good afternoon," said a voice behind Andromeda.
She swung around and saw a young woman in Muggle clothes. She had brown hair
and equally brown eyes, and she was glancing at her curiously.
"Good afternoon," Andromeda replied. "May I ask what you’re doing here?"
"May I ask the same?" the woman asked back. "I am Juliet Warton, the local
social worker. I was asked to come here when Sandrine had been a week away
from school and we couldn’t contact her father."
"I’m Andromeda Tonks," she replied, "a family friend. Mr. Lupin had to go to
a hospital for some time. Sandrine is staying with her... uncle." She
noticed at the last second that she couldn’t tell that the girl was with her
_other_ father.
"Oh, I understand," the woman said, looking sympathetic. "Nothing serious, I
"I’m afraid so," she said, and sighed. "You can tell the teachers not to be
worried. Even when Mr. Lupin has recovered, I don’t think Sandrine will be
returning to her old school."
"I see. You know, a month ago I was here also."
Andromeda eyed her suspiciously, but didn’t say anything. She just waited
for the other woman to go on.
"A neighbour contacted me," the Muggle continued. "He’d been on a walk late
one night as he’d heard some suspicious noises from here - like a human
screaming, he said. So, I had to come and check."
Andromeda swallowed. So this woman, although unknown to herself, had caused
the overdrive of Remus’s wolf senses. "And what was the result?" she asked,
forcing her voice to keep even.
"The result? Nil. Sandrine seemed to be a very happy and healthy little
girl. Mr. Lupin looked a bit sick, but otherwise he, too, was great. He
truly loves the girl, I could see it in the way he treated her. They seemed
to have just enough money for living, but she had nice clothes and toys, and
even a pet owl. A pet owl! I never even knew they could be kept as pets."
"My cousin has one also," the witch told her, deciding to keep quiet about
her own three owls. "They’re really quite interesting creatures. So nothing
was wrong around here?"
"No, absolutely nothing. That neighbour most probably imagined it all.
Everything showed that they were perhaps the happiest family I’ve ever
checked on."
"You’re right," Andromeda said softly. "They truly are a very happy family."
"Yeah. It looked like he didn’t do anything else but hugged his daughter and
called him by pet names. There was one funny thing though..."
"What funny thing?" the witch asked, although she had a rather good
suspicion as of what it could be.
"Sandrine kept calling him ‘Mommy.’ I mean, I know she’s grown up without
her mother, poor thing, but still, calling her father ‘Mommy?’" She shook
her head and chuckled. "It was cute, though. He called her ‘Princess.’"
"Sounds just like something that Remus would do." Andromeda smiled. "Now, if
you would excuse me, I should collect some of Sandrine’s things she needs
while staying with her... uncle."
Miss Warton nodded. "Go ahead. So Sandrine won’t return to the school?"
"No. I’ll make sure the proper papers get filled as soon as we get the other
things set." With this said, Andromeda entered the house, leaving the Muggle
woman behind.
"Severus, Sandrine," Dumbledore called from the staff room’s door. "Your
things have been brought."
Severus snatched his eyes away from his beaming daughter and looked at the
Headmaster. "Very well," he said calmly. "Sandrine?"
"Yes, Father?" she replied immediately.
"We’re going to my quarters now," he told her. "We have to put your things
to your new room, after all."
She nodded with a happy smile, then slid off the chair she’d been sitting
on. With a cheery goodbye to her admirers, the little girl followed Severus
and Dumbledore out of the room.
As they got to Severus’s quarters, they were met with a heap of things lying
on the floor. "Looks like Andromeda found everything," Dumbledore said after
a quick glance. "Her room is behind that door to your left. I have to settle
some things, so I’ll leave you to your work."
Severus gave him a suspicious glance, knowing that the older wizard had
something up to his sleeve. But, he didn’t say anything but bid his
goodnights to the Headmaster.
As soon as Dumbledore had left, Sandrine ran to the pile of her possessions,
starting to dig into it franticly as if in search for something. Watching
her curiously, Severus just stood on his place, until the girl jumped up
with a cheerful shout.
"She found him!" Sandrine exclaimed, hugging something raggy and worn-up
against her chest. "I told her to find him, and she did!"
"What did she find?" asked Severus curiously.
"Mr. Moony of course," Sandrine replied calmly. "Look!" She showed him an
old, ragged stuffed toy that could with a lot of imagination maybe resemble
Then Sandrine turned the toy over, and Severus was staring a grey toy wolf
right in the eye.
"It looks to me that Mr. Moony is a bit worn-out," Severus said carefully.
"Do you want me to repair him?" He pulled out his wand, but put it back as
Sandrine shook her head.
"I like him the way he is," she said, hugging the toy even tighter. "I
wouldn’t let Mommy repair him, either. I told him that he shouldn’t try to
fix Mr. Moony before he’s falling apart."
"Then I won’t try to fix him, either," Severus promised. "He’s your wolf,
after all. It’s up to you to decide what you want to do with him."
"Right," Sandrine said, and beamed. "And I’m going to keep him just like he
is." Sahe hugged the wolf again, then examined it closely. "He looks a bit
like Mommy at the full moon, don’t you think?" she asked then.
Severus startled a bit. "I wouldn’t know," he said then carefully. "I’ve
never seen your Mommy as a wolf."
"You haven’t?" she asked, frowning. "He’s not dangerous."
"To you, he isn’t," Severus said patiently. "You’re his cub. To everyone
other, he is very dangerous. To me, also."
"No, he isn’t," Sandrine argued. "Not to you, at least. You’re my father,
and as I’m his cub, it makes you his mate. The werewolf doesn’t harm their
mate, either."
Severus raised his eyebrows slightly. "For such a young child you know a
lot," he remarked.
"Mommy has taught me," the girl replied with a shrug. "We never went
anywhere, other than to work and school, so we spent a lot time together. He
told me all kind of things, whatever I only asked." Her beautiful golden
eyes held a bit sad glint to them as she said this.
"You can ask me, also," Severus promised, wanting to cheer her up at least a
bit. "I promise to tell you anything you want to know."
Sandrine nodded, but didn’t say anything. For a moment they both stood
there, not saying a word.
"We need to get your stuff to your room," Severus reminded her. "Let’s at
least have a look at it, shall we?" He went to the brand-new door and opened
it, looking inside. Sandrine came to his side and peered to the room also.
Severus couldn’t help but allow himself a little smile at the sight. There
was a small children’s bed in the room. There was also a little table in the
corner with a tiny chair in front of it, as well as a toy basket, a
bookshelf and a closet. The little door in the furthest corner obvously led
to her own bathroom. All in all, it had anything a little girl could want
and need.
The amusing thing was that the walls were a pale green colour, while all the
furniture was forest green with silver details.
"Slytherin colours," Sandrine said observantly. "Of course! You’re the Head
of the Slytherin House, after all."
"Yes, I am," Severus said, a tiny smile still tugging the corner of his
mouth. "And I like to make people remember it. Looks like Albus wanted to
give me some back about it." He turned towards the girl, a bit hesitant. "Do
you like it?" he asked carefully.
"Do I like it?" she echoed. A broad smile lit up her features. "I love it.
It’s beautiful!"
"That’s good," the Potions Master replied, sighing inwardly with relief.
"Now, let’s get your things inside and on their places, shall we?"
There wasn’t much to move in. Sandrine brought the very few toys of hers in,
dropping them to the bottom of the toy basket. Mr. Moony sat on her bed,
"watching" as Severus started neatly arranging all the girl’s little dresses
and robes to the closet. It seemed that even though Remus could not afford
much, he made sure his daughter was well clothed.
Then Sandrine ran again outside, bringing back an armsful of various things.
She dropped them to the floor, starting to put them in piles. Severus
watched from the corner of his eye as she put her books into alphabetical
order on the bookshelf. Then the girl placed some papers, a notebook, and a
couple of old-looking pencils on the table. A couple of other stuffed toys
also got sorted - two to the toy basket, one to her bed to keep company to
Mr. Moony.
"Do you like it when things are in a clear order?" Severus asked, a bit
amused by her exactness in this.
Sandrine nodded. "Mommy does, too," she said. "And he’s told that you do,
too. That’s what is the worst after the full moon - before Mommy gets up,
the places that weren’t locked are so messy."
Severus nodded, unable to come up with a reply to that. Instead, he just
watched as Sandrine arranged her few markers to colour order.
After yet some things had found their places, she only had left a tiny,
wooden box. Carefully she opened it, lifting up a chain with a golden ring
on it. She watched it for a moment, then put it back and shut the lid. She
placed the box carefully on the highest shelf.
"What’s that?" Severus asked curiously.
Sandrine glanced at him. "It’s a ring," she replied simply. Then she added,
"Mommy got it from his mother, and I got it from him. It’s still too big for
me, but I may sometimes wear it as a necklace." She smiled proudly, then
said, "It’s my own jewellery, all of it. It’s very valuable."
Severus nodded slowly. There was so much of his daughter he didn’t actually
know. Like, what she held most treasurable in her life - other than her
Mommy, of course. Somehow, Mr. Moony and this ring both reminded Severus of
each other. They were both old, and wouldn’t maybe look like very valuable
to someone - the ring was golden, true, but still it was so tainted and worn
with time that a quick glance would miss that. Still, these two were both
very dear to Sandrine - and she’d got them both from her Mommy.
Severus promised to himself to look through his mother’s old jewellery once
Sandrine’d went to sleep. He didn’t want to overdo Remus’s gifts, since he
knew that wouldn’t be right and would only upset Sandrine. But, he did want
to give her some "treasure" that would remind her of him. Even if Remus
recovered, and if he would neither leave Sandrine to his care nor have
anything to do with Severus, there’d be something that would make Sandrine
think about her Father, not her Mommy.
And, if Remus died, nothing Severus gave could overdo the value of the
werewolf’s gifts to his daughter.
At last, they got all Sandrine’s things on their places. "Now, young lady,"
Severus said with a half-stern tone, "we’re going to eat something. Then
you’ll wash and go to sleep."
To his great surprise Sandrine didn’t argue, she just nodded. Seemingly, she
was a very obedient little girl.
Severus ordered them a small supper from the house-elves, and they ate it in
a comfortable silence. Then he watched as she washed herself, changed to her
nightgown, and climped to her bed.
"Will you read me a bedtime story?" came suddenly a quiet question.
Taking one gaze to his daughter, Severus nodded. "Of course, little one," he
replied. "What would you want to hear?"
"Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig."
Smiling at the girl’s choice, as well as the truth that he could indeed find
the addressed book in her book shelf, Severus started to read the story.
Halfway through it, he saw that Sandrine seemed to be sleeping, so he stood
and started to leave.
Just as he was about to blow the candle off, however, he heard a sleepy
voice, "You didn’t read it wholly..."
Shaking his head in amusement, Severus sat back. This time, he read the
story to an end. Seeing that Sandrine was now truly sleeping, he put the
book back to the shelf, blew the candle, and left the room. He left the door
a bit ajar, however, allowing some dim light from the corridor to cast to
the room.
After a moment of thinking, Severus left his quarters. He sweeped through
the dungeons, then to the upper floors of the castle, where most of the
teachers resided. Reaching professor Vector’s quarters, he knocked on the
door, hoping that Vector wouldn’t be asleep - not because he was afraid of
disturbing her, but because he didn’t want to bother and wake her up.
Fortunately, she was awake. Just as he raised his hand to knock the second
time, the door opened, and Vector looked at him. She looked very surprised
and even a bit shocked to see him, but beckoned him inside all the same.
"What’s the matter, Severus?" she asked, watching him curiously.
"You have a daughter, right?" he asked back, deciding to skip all the polite
phrases. It was expected of him, after all.
"Yes, I do," the Arithmancy professor replied, meanwhile leading him to the
area she used as a sitting room. She gestured him to sit down. "Tea?" she
"Yes, please," Severus replied. Then, he returned to the questioning. "So,
what does a little girl in the age of seven need?" he asked, watching the
witch intently.
"In Sandrine’s age?" she said, frowning a bit. "Well, toys, of course. And
other things - anything nice and girly and princess-like makes most of them
happy. Healthy food, proper sleep, the basic stuff. And..." She hesitated
for a moment, then said, "What they most need... What any child most
needs... Lots and lots of love."
Severus calmly sipped his tea. Then he raised an eyebrow and glanced at the
witch while saying, "You think I can’t give that to her." It wasn’t even a
"Well..." She hesitated for a moment, then said, "No, I don’t think so. I
happen to believe that all human beings are capable of loving. I just think
that you’ll have some very hard time doing so."
Severus didn’t say anything.
A few days later, after getting the permission from Dumbledore (which hadn’t
been very hard), Severus and Sandrine were at the Diagon Alley. It being
Saturday, they saw quite many families with their little children there, so
it was easy for them to slip in to the crowd. Some people who recognized
Severus gave them a few curious glances, but an icy glare from him always
scared them away.
Sandrine was absolutely in Heaven. Anything she dared to ask for, she got -
not that it was very much, she wasn’t used to have very much. But, Severus
did buy her new toys, clothes, and all other things he could imagine a
little girl needed and wanted.
He also bought, unknown to Sandrine, a package of wizarding markers. They’d
glitter if she activated the charm by blowing at the picture. After paying
he slipped the package to his pocket just in time before Sandrine ran to the
place. She’d get her gift that night.
"What’s that?" she asked suddenly, pointing at the nearby store.
Severus followed her gaze and saw what she was pointing at. "It’s the pet
shop," he said, slightly surprised. "Do you like animals?"
"I do, but I couldn’t have pets before," she told him. "Mommy said they were
really nice, but too expensive. We could only afford one owl to tell Mommy’s
friends that he was okay."
"Well, I have plenty of money," the Potions Master said, not even noticing
what he was saying before the words had left his mouth. "I can buy you a
pet, if you want one."
"Would you?" she asked, her eyes wide with surprise and excitement.
Severus shrugged. "Of course. I am your other father, after all. Just one
thing - no toads. I can’t stand toads."
She grinned slightly. "No problem," she replied. "I can’t stand them,
They entered the pet store. Sandrine looked around her, taking in every
little detail like only children can. Severus followed her around, never
going far away so Sandrine could maintain her grip on his robes.
"That one looks like Cheryl," she said, pointing at a tawny cat who sat
calmly on a chair in the corner of the shop.
"Cheryl?" Severus echoed. "Who’s she? Didn’t you just say you didn’t have
any pets?"
"She was my toy cat," Sandrine told. "She was just the same colour as that
one." She pointed again at the cat in the corner. "I got her from Mommy when
I was just three years old, and she was my favourite toy."
"Hold on. What do you mean, ‘was?’ Don’t you play with her anymore? Or did
you lost her?" Severus asked. He couldn’t help but be curious.
"The wolf tore her apart two months ago," she told quietly. "I forgot to
take her to my bedroom - that’s where we lock everything we have to keep
safe from the wolf. She was too torn to be even repaired. Mommy was of
course really sorry, but said that we couldn’t yet afford a new one. And it
wasn’t really his fault, after all."
"Would you like a real cat, then?" Severus asked, in a sudden flow of
fatherly love. He could keep a cat in his dungeons. He quite liked them,
actually. So, it would be no problem if Sandrine had one.
"No," she said, however, shaking her head. "Mommy’s said that cats don’t
like him. It was something about being a werewolf and that it’s Dark magic.
And I can’t have a pet that doesn’t like Mommy, right? Since when he comes
back from the hospital, it could cause problems."
The Slytherin swallowed. Just that morning, he’d received a message that it
couldn’t yet be said whether Remus would survive. And here was Sandrine, her
eyes bright, in all her trustfulness talking about the time he’d come back.
How could Severus tell this girl... His daughter, his own flesh and blood...
That she might never see her Mommy alive again? How could he break her
little heart by doing that?
"Okay," he said with a forced smile. "No cats, then. Would you like
something else?"
"Umm..." She looked around her almost shyly. Then she hesitantly pointed at
one animal and said, "Could I have that? Or is it too expensive?"
Severus looked at what she was pointing at. It was a large crow, a fine,
night-black bird with intelligent eyes. A good pet for a child by his mind.
He’d himself had a crow when he’d been young, named Mudin. "Of course you
can, if you like him," he replied immediately. "A good choice, anyway. Crows
don’t mind werewolves at all." He walked nearer, examining the bird.
Sandrine walked by his side, clutching tightly on his robes like she’d been
afraid he might go away all of sudden.
"May I help you?" a voice asked suddenly behind them. He turned around and
saw the shopkeeper, whose eyes widened as he saw the infamous, scary Potions
Master with a child.
"I think so," Severus replied, raising an eyebrow. "My daughter would want
to buy this crow." He pointed at the animal.
"Your daughter?" the shopkeeper’s eyes, if possible, widened even more.
"Yes," he snapped, now very annoyed. "My daughter. Sandrine Snape. Do I have
to spell it out? She - wants - to - buy - this - crow."
"Oh, yes. Very well. I take it you’re buying a cage also?"
"And everything else that the bird needs," Severus replied dryly. "And right
now. We should be back at Hogwarts tonight."
"I see." The man took the crow from its perch, placing it then to a simple
bird cage. Then he collected a couple of dishes for the bird’s feeding, a
couple of toys - who’d known that crows liked playing just like canaries? -
and some bird’s food. At last he collected everything on the selling table
and told the price, which made Sandrine’s eyes almost pop out of her head
but didn’t even sound big to Severus. He paid for the purchases, shrank
everything minus the cage and the bird inside it, then left the shop with
Sandrine happily skipping next to him.
"Do you have to jump all the time?" he asked, trying to keep his voice calm.
"It’s rather irritating."
"I’m sorry, Father," she said, and stopped immediately. "Do we still have to
go somewhere?"
"I don’t think so," he replied. "Unless you want some ice-cream, that is. Or
candies - but not too much, it’s bad for your teeth."
Her eyes widened again, and then she smiled broadly. "I’d love to," she
"I figured so," Severus said, smiling dryly. "Shall we go, then?"
They ate their ice-creams in peace, although Severus Snape with a crow in a
cage and a little girl gained not a few curious glances. Then, they Flooed
back to the Hogsmeade, where Sandrine spent the most wonderful half an hour
in her life searching through the stocks of the Honeydukes.
Sandrine slept peacefully in her bed. The crow, whom she had to Severus’s
great amusement and delight named Hugin, was sleeping in his cage. Two new
stuffed animals, a five-legged teddybear and a puppy Grim - gifts from
Vector and Sprout, whom Severus had started to like more and more - were
sitting on the foot of the bed, watching over the girl’s sleep. She had
wrapped her arms tightly around the worn-out wolf plushie, her face hid into
the fur.
Severus stood in the doorway, taking this all in. There were a lot of
thoughts in his mind, mostly about the day that was just about to end. After
their shopping trip, they’d spent the whole evening in his quarters.
Sandrine had been excited about her new markers, drawing a picture after a
picture. These she was going to present to various members of the faculty,
all of which Severus knew would be just as excited about these gifts as the
girl giving them. One of the drawings, a golden wolf with big amber eyes and
a silvery full moon in the background, Sandrine had given to Severus. "So
you remember Mommy," she said firmly.
Severus was going to hang the drawing to the wall of his office.
He would have never thought that it was quite so nice to be a father.
Somehow, to have a little child so much liking him, so dependant on him,
touched something deep inside his heart... So deep that nobody had ever
touched there, nobody but a certain werewolf with golden hair and a warm
Biting his teeth together, Severus turned around and left the room. This was
no time to dwell in the past. Today, it was just he, and Sandrine. Whatever
tomorrow would bring would be dealt with tomorrow.
Until then, he could just hope.
Monday came, bringing along the question as of what to do with Sandrine. The
most natural solution, of course, would have been to put her to the Potions
class, where Severus could easily keep an eye on her. That was how they’d
done before, anyway.
It was, however, obvious even early in the morning that the day was going to
be bright and warm outside. Even though Severus himself enjoyed the cool air
and closedness of the dungeons, he had firm suspicions that Sandrine
wouldn’t. She had, after all, spent most of the summer outdoors with her
Mommy. Severus simply had no heart to force her to stay inside on such a
fine day.
That was the reason why he shocked the whole staff in the breakfast table by
deliberately starting a conversation with Sprout and Vector. He secretly
enjoyed the looks on both the addressed witches’ as well as the other
teachers’ faces as he thanked the two about the stuffed toys they’d bought
for his daughter. Sandrine also gave her own thanks, accompanied with one of
her adorable smiles.
After a few exchanged comments Sprout had happily agreed to look after the
girl in the greenhouses. Severus could have sworn that Vector looked almost
envious. Sandrine, on the other hand, looked absolutely delighted at the
So, after leaving the Great Hall, Sandrine parted from her father, and
followed the Herbology Professor outside.
Severus dismissed his class before lunch earlier than usually. When the
Herbology class ended, the students gave frightened glances at their Potions
Professor, who was approaching the greenhouses.
"Severus!" Sprout exclaimed, as he stepped into her sight. "You frightened
me. You can really be a scary sight."
"So I’ve been told," he replied dryly. "Where’s Sandrine?"
"She’s still in there," she said, nodding towards the nearest greenhouse.
"Why so? Don’t you trust my skills in taking care of children?"
"If Dumbledore has hired you for a teacher, I trust you to keep them from
killing themselves," Severus said. "But my only daughter, whom I’ve only had
for a few days, is far different from students in general."
"Indeed," Sprout smiled. She still looked a bit nervous as they walked
towards the greenhouse. Well, Severus couldn’t really blame her. He’d
certainly deserved his reputation as a difficult man.
"Sandrine!" Sprout called. "Your father came to fetch you for lunch!"
Sandrine raised her golden eyes from something she’d been examining. "Hi,
Father!" she said happily, bouncing up from her tiny seat. "Guess what? I
got to water the plants!"
"Really?" Severus replied, at the same time glaring sharply at Sprout.
The witch eyed him a bit uneasily, and said quietly, "Nothing dangerous, I
He nodded briefly, then turned back to Sandrine. "Have you behaved
yourself?" he asked, although his voice lacked its usual menace. "Or have
you gave troubles to professor Sprout?"
"I’ve been nice," the girl assured him. "Haven’t I?" she asked then, turning
towards the female professor.
"Very nice," Sprout verified. "She’s really been no bother at all. She’s
very clever," she added.
"Of course she is," Severus smirked. "She’s my daughter, after all." He
noticed that Sandrine had reached his side. The girl reached her hands
upward, and he picked her up without thinking twice. It wasn’t until he
noticed Sprout staring at him in a funny way that he noticed how
uncharacteristical it had to be for him. He shoved the little, embarrassed
feeling away, not letting go of Sandrine. ‘Remus probably carried her all
the time,’ he thought to himself in an attempt to justify his doings. ‘I’m
just helping her to get used to the new enviroment by giving her something
familiar to relate to.’
He carried Sandrine all the way to the castle, half chattering wtih Sprout,
half listening to Sandrine’s cheerful talk. He distantly noticed that the
girl was a lot smaller and lighter than children usually were in her age.
Well, Remus had always been small, and Severus himself, although tall, was
rather light-built as well. Besides, the children of werewolves were usually
small in size, although they rarely were lycanthropic themselves. So, it
most probably was not a reason to worry.
By the time they reached the doors of the Great Hall, Sprout had joyfully
promised to look after Sandrine after the lunch as well. The girl looked
happy about this, so Severus gave his permission right away.
Sandrine kept talking all the lunch about everything she’d done and seen
that morning. Severus couldn’t help but wonder what had made the great
change from Saturday to happen.
Sinistra’d moved away from them, making room to Sandrine’s admirers.
Flitwick and Vector were listening eagerly, looking envious every time
Sandrine said something to Sprout. Severus kept smirking all the time.
Obviously the girl had inherited Remus’s skills to please people.
By the end of the lunch Flitwick announced that if the weather was good the
next day, he’d give the lessons outdoors. With the same breath he asked
whether he could have Sandrine as a guest on his lessons.
Severus frowned. "What have you planned for tomorrow?" he asked warily. He’d
already missed seven years of his daughter’s life. He definitely wasn’t
going to let some Hufflepuff blow her up now that he finally had her.
"Oh, nothing dangerous," Flitwick said quickly. "Just a couple of Colouring
Charms for second-years and Organizing Spells for my fifth-year classes."
"What do you think, Sandrine?" Severus asked, turning towards his daughter.
"Would you like to go with Professor Flitwick tomorrow?"
The little girl thought for a moment, then nodded happily. "I’d like that,"
she chirped. The tiny wizard beamed, and Severus could see how Vector cursed
herself in her mind for not getting the idea first.
"It’s okay, then," Severus shrugged, "as long as I don’t get her back
"You won’t," Flitwick promised, a beaming smile adorning his tiny face.
Severus snorted and continued his eating.
When he went again to get Sandrine after the last classes, the gilr was
waiting for him with a pot in his hands.
"Father, look at this!" she exclaimed, holding the pot high. "May I keep it
in my room?"
"I don’t know," Severus replied hesitantly. "Not many plants survive in the
"This one does!" Sandrine disagreed.
Sprout nodded. "This plant is the Silver Rope, also known as the Nightstar.
It prefers dimness to light, and doesn’t require sunlight at all. In too
bright light or dry environment it dies, but in its preferable habitat,
which is almost exactly like the dungeons, it blooms with silver and white,
star-shaped flowers."
Severus thought about it for a moment, then nodded slowly. "If you like it,
of course you may. But I have to shrink it now, and we will take it to your
room after the dinner."
"Okay!" Sandrine squealed, watching in fascination as Severus shrank the pot
and put it carefully into his pocket.
The dinner went also with Sandrine’s cheerful chirping about her day.
Seepingly Sprout had introduced her to some of the least dangerous plants,
letting her water them, snip off dry leaves and such.
Dumbledore again insisted that they went to the staff room. Severus wasn’t
so eager, but as Sandrine seemed to like the idea, he agreed to go there
after taking Sandrine’s plant to the dungeons.
Sandrine was again the center of all attention. Her happy smile and warm
eyues seemed to have charmed half of the teachers. Severus couldn’t help but
remember how Remus had seemed to get along with most people. He really was
grateful that Sandrine had inherited the werewolf’s skills to befriend
people. If she’d had Severus’s antisocial character, getting to know his
daughter would have been next to impossible.
He stayed in his usual corner, looking so menacing that nobody dared to
approach him. That was, until Sandrine suddenly stopped her happy
conversation with her admirers, ran to Severus and looked up at him with big
doe eyes. "Give me a hug," she ordered.
Severus blinked in surprise. Then, however, he leant forward to pick the
girl up, determinedly ignoring the stares of the other staff. He gave her a
warm, fatherly hug, then put her back to the floor. She beamed happily at
him, then sprang back to her previous position.
After a moment, he heard someone walk beside his seat. He didn’t bother to
turn around, knowing that there was only one person other than Dumbledore or
Sandrine who’d dare to come near him right now.
"You love her," Minerva observed calmly.
"I do," Severus admitted, realizing now that he really meant it.
"Why, though?" the Animagus asked. "You could claim fatherly love, of
course, but I think that three days is a rather short time for that, if the
girl is already seven years old."
Severus thought about it for a moment. Then he answered, truthfully, "She
reminds me of her mother." It was really true. Whenever he looked into the
girl’s amber eyes, he remember Remus, and the equally amber eyes of the
werewolf, shining with love. Her laughter, her smile, her voice, her
words... Everything in her was a constant reminded of Remus and the love
they’d shared.
"I see." Minerva was quiet for a moment, then said, "You know, I checked the
school’s records today." Another pause, then, "The last one under the name
of Snape was you." She couldn’t hide the curious tone in her voice.
"She isn’t originally a Snape," he said, shrugging.
"So she’s on her mother’s name, then?" the Debuty Headmistress continued
questioning him.
He shook his head. "It’s hyphonated. Her mother’s name is first."
"I see," she said again. Then she turned around, a thoughtful expression on
her face.
Severus frowned, wondering whether he’d done the right decision in telling
her that. Then he decided that it didn’t really matter. She’d sooner or
later read through the list and find Sandrine, the curious cat she was.
He turned his eyes back to Sandrine, watching her laugh and smile.
Something in his chest felt warm, reminding him that he indeed had a heart
like any other human being.
Another day. Another evening. Another gathering of Sandrine Snape’s fanclub
in the Hogwarts Staff Room.
This time, however, the center of the attention wasn’t present. She had left
with Professor Vector for a quick trip to Hogsmeade - a privilege that the
students wouldn’t have even dreamed of getting outside the Hogsmeade
weekends, but the pet of the staff got by granted.
Suddenly, Minerva McGonagall stormed into the room. She looked halfly
shocked, halfly amused. "I found it!" she announced to the rest of the
"Found what?" Hooch asked, curious. It was very unlike the Transfiguration
Professor to get so excited. Therefore, it had to be something big.
"The name of Sandrine’s other parent, of course." She gave Severus a pointed
glance, and the Slytherin paled even past his usual paleness. The other
teachers, of course, noticed this, their curiousity only growing.
"Who it is?" Sinistra asked eagerly, the familiar calculating expression on
her face. "And how did you find out?"
"I looked through the whole book on her year," McGonagall explained. "There
was only one child with the name Sandrine." She made a slight pause, then
continued, "To be exact, Sandrine Lupin-Snape."
At first, everyone fell silent. Then, all the teachers started talking at
the same time. They were asking questions from both McGonagall and Severus.
After a moment, Severus got fed up with this. "Silence!" he roared,
standing. Everybody looked attentively at him, waiting.
"Minerva is correct," the Potions Master said coolly. "Sandrine’s original
familyname is indeed Lupin-Snape. Yes, her other parent is Remus Lupin, with
whom I was in a romantical relationship for four years until two days before
the Dark Lord’s downfall. And, anybody making any negative remarks about him
in either mine or Sandrine’s hearing will suffer the consequences."
At last, somebody broke the stunned silence. "Is - is she -" started
Flitwick, unable to finish his sentence.
"A werewolf? No. Sandrine is a fully human, intelligent, and perfectly
sensible little girl, who adores her ‘Mommy.’ So, if you upset her, I swear
I will kill you." He glared at every and each one of his collagues in turn,
challenging them to say something low about Remus. "Understood?" he snapped
The door opened again, and the child in question came in, closely followed
by Professor Vector. "Father!" Sandrine squealed happily. "I..." She stopped
on her track, looking warily around her. "Why are you staring at me?" she
asked quietly, looking uneasy.
Severus sighed and alked to his daughter, well aware of all the eyes locked
on them both. He picked Sandrine up, then turned to Professor Vector,
forcing himself to stay calm.
"May I introduce you," he said, raising his eyebrow mockingly. "This is
Sandrine Lupin-Snape, I and Remus Lupin’s daughter."
The Arithmancy teacher’s jaw dropped. "But - how -" she managed to stammer.
Then she shook her head, seemingly trying to calm herself down. "Oh, yes,"
she sighed then. "Should have been expecting something like this. After all,
I doubt that anything less could have compensated the Snape genes." All the
other teachers stared at her in horror, half expecting Severus to tear her
Severus, however, merely raised an eyebrow. "That’s your opinion," he said
dryly. "Although I think that Remus’s genes could compensate anything short
of Voldemort’s," he then added with a slight smile, giving Sandrine an
adoring glance that made the girl giggle happily.
They heard a loud *THUD*. As everyone turned to look, they saw that both
Flitwick and Trelawney had fainted.
"What got to them?" Severus asked, irritated.
"Must be the shock," Minerva offered off-handedly. As he gave her a
questioning glance, she continued, "You realize you actually smiled, right?"
"Right," he said. "And what about that?"
The Transfiguration Professor sighed. "Severus, you’ve taught here for nine
years now," she said. "And during that time I’ve never, and I really mean
never, seen you smile."
"You haven’t?" Severus asked, raising his eyebrows. "Must be about the time,
Then, determinedly ignoring all the stares directed at him, he took
Sandrine’s hand and led her out of the room.
"Eat your vegetables, Sandrine," Severus commanded strictly. "They’re good
for your health."
"I don’t like them," the little girl protested. "Why must I eat them? I’m
not sick!"
Severus thought for a moment. The obvious answer, ‘You’ll get sick if you
don’t eat them,’ wouldn’t work for Sandrine. She was too clever to fall for
that. While thinking, he felt the girl’s intent gaze locked on himself, as
well as those of several teachers’.
Then, suddenly, he got it. "If you eat your vegetables at, let’s say, nine
meals, I’ll take you see your Mommy," he promised calmly. The girl’s eyes
widened, and she started eating obediently, no longer whining about the
disliked things on her plate.
"Why nine?" whispered Sprout curiously, leaning towards Severus.
"I was anyway going to take her to St. Mungo’s at Monday after lunch,"
Severus murmured back. "It’s nine meals to that, and I’m sure she won’t miss
a single pea until then."
The witch smiled at him. "Ever the cunning Slytherin, I see," she teased the
Severus gave her a slight smirk in return. In his mind he couldn’t help but
wonder. Just a month before, Sprout would have never started a conversation
with him, even less dared to tease him the slightest. Such a difference one
little girl could make in a month.
Not that he minded, at least not much.
"How is he?" Severus asked with a low voice, nodding towards the unmoving
figure that lay on a hospital bed. Sandrine was sitting on a chair next to
the bed, eagerly explaining everything she’d done since their last visit.
She didn’t seem to be worried about the fact that her Mommy didn’t even open
his eyes, much less respond to her. Sandrine thought that sooner or later he
would wake up, and that knowledge was enough for the child.
"We’re worried," the mediwitch said quietly. "It’s only a few days to the
next full moon. If he doesn’t wake up before it, he will not survive through
the transformation."
Severus nodded slowly. So it was like he’d feared. Remus would die, and he
could do nothing to prevent it. Sandrine would be left a half-orphan, doomed
to spend the rest of her life with a bitter, hated man as her only living
relative. Severus would be left alone, for he knew he could never love
anyone other but Remus.
Remus would die, without even hearing that Severus still loved him.
"How was your visit?" asked the Headmaster, turning towards Severus. As soon
as he saw the expression on the younger man’s face, his face fell. "No
progress then, I guess?" he asked quietly.
Severus nodded grimly. "If Remus dies, I’ll be left alone with her," he then
said quietly.
Albus nodded, his eyes lacking their usual twinkle. "I know," he said.
"How could that be?" Severus asked desperately. "I’m not parent material,
Albus. You know that. I’d be an awful father."
"For what I see, you’ve been a truly great father this month," the older
wizard said with a gentle smile. "Don’t underestimate yourself, Severus.
Sandrine adores you, even though she’s spent so little time with you. Even
if such a misfortune would come to us that Remus didn’t make it, you’d
surely get her - and yourself - over it."
"But I don’t want to have to get over it," Severus said hoarsely. "I want
him to wake up and survive."
This time, Albus said nothing.
Remus Lupin opened his eyes in the hospital bed. He glanced slowly around
him, wondering where he was.
Slowly, he remembered something. The full moon, during which something had
gone wrong. The next day, Andromeda and Ted. They, and a couple of other
friends, had brought him to the hospital. And not only him, but Sandrine,
Sandrine. His little daughter wasn’t there. And she had been there when he’d
last been awake, that he was sure about.
"Sandrine?" he asked with a quiet voice.
There was no answer.
After listening for a moment, and not hearing anything, he raised his voice,
Suddenly, he heard quick footsteps approaching him. After a second a woman,
dressed in a mediwitch’s white uniform, came to the side of his bed.
"Awake at last, I see, Mr. Lupin," she said, sounding in fact happy. "That’s
good. We truly were worried about you. It’s only the two days to the next
full moon."
"The full moon," he said quietly, pondering the fact in his mind. "It just
was full moon... Yesterday... Wasn’t it?"
"I’m afraid no," she said with a gentle, motherly smile. "You came here the
day after the last full moon, true. However, you’ve spent most of the month
"Sandrine," he remembered again. "Where is Sandrine? Why isn’t she here?"
"Now, now, Mr. Lupin, you need to calm down," the mediwitch sushered him.
"Your daughter is all right, believe me. If you promise to try and keep
calm, she’ll be here the first time in the morning."
"But where is she now?" he demanded to know. "Who’s taking care of him?"
"Oh, she’s perfectly well, I can assure you," she answered him. "She’s been
staying at Hogwarts where, from what I’ve heard, she’s soon become the pet
of most of the teachers. They visited here yesterday."
"They?" Remus echoed, feeling still rather confused after his long sleep.
"Who was with her?"
"Why, her father, of course," the mediwitch said with a slight chuckle.
"They truly resemble each other, don’t they? She looks mostly like you, of
course, but something in her expressions... She’s more than clearly a
At that point she noticed that she was talking to daft ears, since Remus had
In the middle of night, Severus was startled awake as somebody pushed his
bedroom door open. "Sandrine?" he asked quietly, seeing the figure of a
little child standing in the square of dim light coming from the corridor.
"Is something wrong?"
The girl sniffled, "I had a bad dream..."
"Do come here," Severus said without a second thought. As soon as he said
this, the little girl padded across the room to his bed, then climped there
next to him, Mr. Moony steadily in one hand and a blanket in another. "Now,
what was the dream about?" asked Severus then.
"We went to see Mommy... And he was not there," she sniffled. "There was
somebody else in his bed... They said Mommy was there no more, and Father, I
was so scared..."
Not saying anything, Severus pulled her into a tight hug, holding her close.
"When will Mommy get better, Father?" asked Sandrine. "Will he?"
For a moment, Severus considered lying, but then decided that he could not
do that to Sandrine. "I don’t know, little gem," he said, using the petname
he’d given to the girl. "I honestly don’t know."
Just then, somebody else opened the door, bringing light with himself to the
dim room. "Severus?" asked Headmaster Dumbledore. "Severus, they called for
you from St. Mungo’s... You and Sandrine should go there immediately."
Severus felt his heart freeze in his chest, as well as he felt Sandrine’s
tiny fingers clutch on his hand.
This was not happening, this couldn’t be...
"Mommy!" Sandrine shrieked as soon as the door was opened. "You are awake!"
"That I am," came a hoarse reply from the bed. Remus was pale, thin, and
sick-looking, but he was awake. Sandrine ran to him, being closed into a
tight embrace.
Severus stood in the doorway, not sure of what was expected from him. As he
watched, Remus let go of Sandrine, then locked his eyes at Severus.
"Severus?" asked the raspy voice of his former lover.
"Remus..." he said testingly, all too well aware of the pair of glittering
golden eyes watching both him and the werewolf lying on the bed. They had to
be careful, both of them. Sandrine wasn’t a stupid girl, she’d understand
everything that was said and done.
"You said..." Remus took a deep breath, then tried again, "You said you
didn’t love me anymore..." The sadness was evident in the werewolf’s voice,
and his eyes gazed at Severus with the loneliness and sorrow of almost eight
years shining from the amber pools.
Severus turned his head away, as if in shame. "I’m sorry, Remus," he said
quietly. "I had no options... At least I thought I didn’t have. The Dark
Lord was killing and torturing the families of every Death Eater who was the
tiniest bit disloyal to him. And I, being a spy, would have been punished
extremely... Through you."
Remus was quiet for a moment, pondering. Then he said, slowly, "I
"Do you, thought?" the Potions Master asked with a pained voice. "Can you
really understand what it was like? Do you know how much it hurt me to tell
that I didn’t love you, to try and make you hate me, when I wanted nothing
as much as close you to my arms and never let go?"
"I never hated you," Remus said softly.
"I know it now," Severus replied. "But then, I didn’t know. I thought you
hated me... That you didn’t want anything to do with me. That’s why I didn’t
come to you after the Dark Lord’s defeat." He hesitated only for a moment,
then, surprising himself as much as Remus, fell down to his knees. "Remus,
love... Can you ever forgive me for what I did?" he asked hoarsely.
Remus watched him for a moment. Then, to his great relief, the werewolf
broke into a smile - a tired and a bit wary one, yes, but a smile
nonetheless. "Of course I forgive you, Severus," he said with a soft tone.
"Now get up from the floor and come here."
Severus obeyed, walking next to the bed. He stopped there, unknowing of what
was expected from him. To his great surprise, a pair of hands grasped on his
own hands, pulling him down. The next thing he knew was that Remus was
kissing him.
And he kissed back, of course.
It was a quiet night in the Hogwarts dungeons. Sandrine Lupin-Snape slept
peacefully in the safety of her room. Mr. Moony was tucked safely under one
of her arms, and her other plushies were looking at her from the foot of her
bed. There were a couple of toys lying on the ground, but mostly they were
collected into the toy basket, which was half-full of her stuff. A parchment
was lying on the little table along with a few markers; she’d been drawing
as it had been the time to go to sleep.
Two proud fathers watched her sleep from the doorway. They both had an arm
around each other’s waist, Remus’s head resting against Severus’s shoulder.
The month after Remus had woke up had brought many changes to their lives.
For one thing, Remus now resided permanently in Severus’s quarters.
Some of other major changes were the two golden rings on both of their left
ring fingers. Severus had proposed the day after the full moon, and Remus
had gladly agreed. Just two weeks later, Dumbledore had wedded them, all
teachers of Hogwarts witnessing and Sandrine as their only groomsmaid.
"She truly is a wonderful girl," Severus said, a tiny smile tugging at his
"Anyone who can make you smile in Minerva McGonagall’s presence must be a
pure angel," Remus chuckled, remembering the story he’d heard from the
Deputy Headmistress on their wedding day.
"Now, now, Remus, I don’t think I’m quite that bad," Severus said, amused.
"Besides, I even _laughed_ today, remember?"
"Oh, I truly remember," the werewolf said dryly. "Three teachers fainted,
Minerva almost choked on her coffee, Victoria Vector went into hysterics and
poor Filius got a heart attack. Really, Severus, you’re the only one who can
almost kill somebody by just laughing!"
"Hey, I didn’t mean it!" the Slytherin argued.
"I believe you," Remus said teasingly. "If you’d tried to kill him, I don’t
think you’d failed."
Severus merely glared at him. Then his expression lit up a bit. "Anyway, who
could have ever thought that we could have such a wonderful child?" he
asked, placing a little kiss on top of Remus’s head.
"Mm-hmm," Remus mumbled. Then he turned his head to face his lover, a
mischievous glint in his amber eyes. "Fancy having another?" he asked with a
hint of amusement as well as longing in his voice.
"Just what I was going to say," the other man replied, returning his smile.
"Great minds truly work alike," the werewolf chuckled, then took his hand.
"Come on. If we want another kid, we should get to work as soon as possible,
"Oh, I most definitely agree," Severus replied with a slight smirk. Then, as
he was led to the master bedroom by his eager lover, he murmured quietly,
"And this time, I’m not leaving you alone."
Remus, with his werewolf hearing, heard his words. He didn’t say anything,
merely squeezed Severus’s hand, which he was holding.
Severus returned the gesture.
A/N 2: Hugin and Mudin were, in Scandinavian mythology, the crow spies of
Odin, the king of the Asas (the viking gods) and the afterlife.
Oh yeah, and I really love feedback. ^_^ So make me happy, puh-lease?