That Felt Good
Author: Ave Ebony
Warning: none, really, there´s just sex, the master/pet kink will be in a sequel :-)
Disclaimer: just playing with Mrs. Rowling´s toys
Feedback: yes, please, please, please, email@example.com
**huggles** I could have never made it through the story without her.
The story was also read by Domaris Sky, who has some very good
Challenge: 257) Snape
confiscates Harry's Invisibility Cloak and Marauder's Map. Without
really meaning to at first, he begins using them to follow Remus around.
Summary: Will Remus catch Severus
spying on him? What will he do to him? What does it mean to have a
beast inside? What is Sev dreaming about? Why shouldn´t Severus
be cheeky? Read along...
Notes: HBP never happened.
Dumbledore is alive (yet he’s not at Hogwarts), Harry is in his 6th
year and Remus is once again a DADA teacher.
Severus took a sip of brandy. He was a patient man. Not in the usual
meaning - he of course flared up easily, a dense student could flip his
lid in a second, and when Severus had a bad day, one single word could
push his trigger and he would blow up. But - he was used to patient
And waiting sometimes brought sweet results.
He had caught Potter wandering around the castle after curfew. He
ordered Potter to show what was in the brat’s pockets and, funny
enough, there was a familiar old piece of parchment. It was a bit like
a dejà vu. This time, however, Lupin didn’t come to interfere,
and Severus confiscated the parchment, bathing in Potter’s rage.
‘That was sweet.’
Severus took another sip of brandy contentedly and reached out for the old parchment.
After the words “Reveal your secrets,” he knew his suspicion had been true. He smirked and started to work on the riddle.
Snape never managed to resist a challenge.
After a half an hour and one more glass of brandy, the map was
uncovered. Severus was studying its every minute detail. Secret
passages, secret ways where one could slip from the castle undetected,
people moving or resting on the spots all around the castle. ‘Potter has been spying on people,’ was Severus’ first thought. But then he remembered a Hogsmeade Saturday back in Potter’s third year. ‘This is how he got outside!’ Another thought swiftly followed, and the Potion Master’s thin lips curved into a malicious smile.
Oh yes, the boy was invisible, but on the stone floor, which had been
sprayed with a special potion, there were hints of footprints, nearly
invisible, so tiny that even their own creator wouldn’t notice leaving
Potter passed by the pilaster where Snape was hiding.
A strong hand landed on the scruff of the boy’s neck.
Harry jumped and screamed.
Snape smirked triumphantly and stripped the invisibility cloak from Potter’s shoulders.
“This,” he lifted his hand, “is confiscated. You will get it back at
the end of the school year. Now get back to Gryffindor Tower.”
Harry got over his shock quickly, glared at his Potion Professor and opened his mouth –
But before he managed to say anything, Snape cut him off: “Turn it off,
Mr. Potter! Headmaster Dumbledore might have tolerated you endangering
yourself, but Headmistress McGonagall, I assure you, will not. Now do
what you were told or you will lose your house fifty points and I will
Harry turned red, but he was evidently contemplating what he was told and finally he slowly nodded, turned on his heel and left.
‘The brat might actually be starting to come to his senses,’ Severus pondered, ‘well, it was about time.’
He looked at the invisibility cloak and smiled contentedly. ‘This. Is. Sweet.’ Severus felt like laughing aloud, something he hadn’t done in years, decades even.
He headed to his dungeons. He walked swiftly, nearly turning around a
corner, when he heard Potter to talk to someone: “He got my father’s
invisibility cloak!” The boy was evidently as enraged as a hippogriff.
“And he got the-” he cut himself off.
“He got what, Harry?” Severus heard Lupin’s calm but firm voice.
“Well,” the brat hesitated, “The... the Map.”
“So, to sum it up, it is a Hogsmeade day, you are not allowed to leave
the castle, and Professor Snape has just confiscated the Marauders Map
and the invisibility cloak. Tell me it doesn’t mean what I think.”
Snape smirked. Lupin’s voice was very calm, but the anger stood out a
mile. Without one single harsh word, the mild man was berating Potter
in a masterly manner. Snape felt a hint of respect for Lupin. He always
wondered how someone who acted so weakly could have such respect among
“The last time, in your third year, I told you it wasn’t the best way to repay your parents who had sacrificed for you.”
There was silence behind the corner. Severus wondered what the boy’s
face was like now. Was it defiant or ashamed? Severus suddenly realised
he could see it easily himself. He put on the invisibility cloak and
peeked around the corner. Potter was ashamed. Oh, yes. Severus could
see Potter was suffering much more than from any of his own insults,
detentions, or being told off. Christmas came early for the Potions
“I don’t know,” Lupin continued after a while, “What I should do now. I
can’t protect you if you don’t want to be protected. Do you think
Headmaster Dumbledore forbade you leaving the castle without a good
purpose? I am disappointed, Harry. And I feel I have failed too. I
should have realised the Map was too big a temptation for you. I should
have never given it back.”
Potter was watching his shoes intently, and his face was deepest shade of red.
“Now go to your dormitories, Harry.”
Severus watched Lupin leave. Potter followed him soon after, but very meekly.
Severus was sitting in his rooms and tried to read the newest volume of Enigmatic Potions.
But tonight he somehow couldn’t concentrate. Since he overheard the
conversation between Potter and Lupin, his mind over and over again
went back to the man. There was more in him than Severus ever realised.
Lupin was an unresolved puzzle.
And Snape never let a challenge fall.
Severus got up from his chair and took the Map from a drawer. Lupin was
in his personal quarters and he wasn’t moving. Well, it was Saturday
night, and so Lupin was probably relaxing. The dealing with the
students and suffering from the change every month had to be a tiring
combination. ‘But he never even raises his voice at anyone!’ Though there were moments, Severus remembered, when he could see Lupin force himself into a calm and polite answering. ‘There is a fire in the man.’
‘What am I doing?’ Lupin
could pretend to be a man, a polite man, a patient man, but he was a
beast, a werewolf, a dangerous creature, who had nearly eaten Severus
nearly twenty years ago! Snape plunked the Map on his work table
angrily and decided once again that he would not think about Lupin.
He got back to his reading. He loved to read, and it was hard to save a few moments for it. But Enigmatic Potions didn’t seem to be so captivating tonight. Severus sighed and got up to have another look. Lupin didn’t move one inch.
Severus sighed again and retired to his bedroom.
But even sleep abandoned him.
‘This has to be solved.’
Severus was going to solve this very easily. He would approach Lupin
and have a chat or two with him. He would find the werewolf a boring
and unintriguing creature, and his thoughts would get back on really
important matters, like Potions.
With this, the Potion Master fell asleep confidently.
Sunday morning when Snape was leaving the Great hall, Remus had just entered it. ‘Suitable, very suitable.’
Remus stopped. He seemed wary. And he looked like he hadn’t slept the
whole night. “Good morning, Severus,” he said politely, despite his
“Lupin, I am going to brew some Dreamless Sleep. Do you need some?”
Whatever Remus was expecting to hear, it definitely wasn’t this. It was
clear from his expression. He recovered quickly: “That would be really
nice of you, Severus, I have only a few doses left. Thank you very
The Potion Master just nodded and left swiftly. This wasn’t what he
wanted to ask Lupin. He had thought up a few discussion topics as the
news from Dumbledore or the book of ancient attacking spells that
Severus knew Lupin somehow had managed to get hold of, or about
Wolfsbane Potion at worst. The werewolf’s health and well-being weren’t
on the list.
Severus reached his quarters and went straight to his private laboratory. But not before he had taken the Map from the drawer.
Severus spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon, diligently
brewing potions for infirmary. Every now and then, he gave the Map a
look. Lupin got back from Great Hall after breakfast, stayed in his
rooms, sitting and pacing alternately, had lunch in Great Hall, and
then returned to his chambers.
Severus wondered if it would be admissible to bring Dreamless Sleep to
Lupin’s, or if he should give him the potion at dinner. He also
pondered why Lupin was so ill-looking in the morning. His guess that
Lupin was short of Dreamless was wrong, but what could disturb the man
When he was finished brewing, it was about 2 p.m., and he was starving.
He put a kettle on, and made a house-elf bring him cheese toasts.
He decided it wouldn’t be too suspicious to deliver Dreamless to
Lupin’s private quarters; he brought the werewolf his Wolfsbane three
times every month, this should appear similarly.
Decision made, Snape got up and took the vial of Dreamless. He looked
at the Map and cursed. Bloody Potter was just standing before Lupin’s
door. Severus watched the man go to the door and let Potter in. ‘Damn the bloody brat!’
Snape returned to his lab and applied his mind to his research on a
pain potion which wouldn’t violate the effects of Wolfsbane, so that
werewolves could take it to ease their after-transformation pain. He
managed to get himself so absorbed in his work that he even forgot
about the Map and his new obsession.
When he finished brewing the new version of the test potion, he
realised it must have been time for dinner already. Anyway, the potion
had to cool down before Severus would test its interaction with
ingredients of Wolfsbane.
Severus checked the Map. Lupin and Potter were heading to the Great
Hall together. The Potions Master gritted his teeth. He would get a
private conversation with Lupin, sooner or later. He was aware that he
wasn’t reasonable. But he knew he had to persuade himself Lupin was not
worth his attention. This obsession had to end.
He took dinner in his chambers and watched the Map. He would go to
deliver the Dreamless Sleep to Lupin after he returned to his chambers.
To Severus’ rage, he saw Lupin pick up Potter at the Gryffindor table
after dinner, and they walked out of the Great Hall together.
‘Now, this is enough!’
Severus fumed, but his brain, used to finding out a solution in every
situation, worked out an idea. The dark man smirked and grabbed
Potter’s invisibility cloak out of the drawer.
Severus’ expectation was correct. He tried to calm his breath as he
heard Potter’s voice coming nearer. Lupin and Potter came; Lupin put
out his wand and murmured an incantation. The door opened, and the man
and boy got in. The doors closed, but not before an invisible man
squeezed through. Snape hid in a corner where no one would step on him
Potter sat down and Lupin went to appear with a teapot and a plate of biscuits.
“Why do you think Occlumency and Legilimency are still important to
learn for me, Remus? Dumbledore said I didn’t have to study it any
Lupin poured tea in two cups.
“I believe Occlumency can be useful for everyone who wants to master the Arts of Defence.”
“But Dumbledore- ”
“Headmaster Dumbledore realised that you and Professor Snape were just
wasting time. And because time can be a shortage item, he decided you
should learn more of, let’s say, physical defence. However, if you want
to become a master of defence, you shouldn’t avoid any part of the art.”
“So, you are an Occlumens too?”
“Yes, even if my capability is not as high as Professor Snape’s, or
even Headmaster Dumbledore’s. However, they are two of the best
Occlumens of our ages.” Lupin sipped his tea. “Unfortunately,
You-Know-Who is a very skilled Legilimens as well.”
“Remus, will Dum- Headmaster Dumbledore return to Hogwarts?” Harry changed the topic.
“If it suits his plans then he definitely will.”
“So now he is away because it was his choice?” Harry asked sarcastically.
“In fact, yes. The accusation that he was responsible for Dolores
Umbridge’s injuries in the Dark Forest last June were set down, but
there is no doubt Headmaster Dumbledore could not have vanquished. He
decided he could be more useful working for the Order outside of
“What is he doing?”
“You surely understand, Harry, that I can’t feed you anything more than general information.”
“Of course,” Harry frowned and set his cup of tea on the table with a lot more force than was necessary.
Severus would have scolded the brat and kick him out of his chambers if
he behaved like this. Lupin, however, was just sitting silently,
sipping his tea with a friendly face, as if nothing had happened. ‘If everyone wouldn’t tolerate Potter and his lack of manners, he wouldn’t be such an insufferable brat.’
Severus thought. Lupin was just another weak puppet in Potter’s hands,
as he had been a puppet of Potter’s father. This was what Severus had
come for, presented on a silver platter.
After a moment of silence, though, Severus saw Potter fidgeting in his seat uncomfortably.
“Sorry,” the boy said.
Lupin just nodded and offered him biscuits.
Potter took one and fidgeted some more. “I know the rule. It just annoys me. I shouldn’t-” he trailed off.
“It’s understandable, Harry. No one is happy being uninformed. If I
could get back to Occlumency,” Lupin continued, “It would also help you
to control your temper. And you surely can remember the second fighting
“Anger is your second enemy. Be calm and fight just the real enemy standing against you.”
“Exactly, Harry, well done.”
Severus could see Potter’s eyes light up. He didn’t understand it.
Everyone was celebrating Potter all the time. It’s not as if praise was
rare for him. ‘Or was it?’ Severus felt a pang of doubts.
Potter was thinking for a moment. Then he asked somehow meekly: “Would
you teach me some Occlumency while teaching me Defence, Remus, please?”
Lupin was thinking for a while and then said carefully: “I am willing
to teach you Occlumency, as I know Headmaster Dumbledore wouldn’t be
against it, but not during the time reserved for Defence. You may come
thirty minutes earlier next Tuesday, and we can start some meditation
“Thank you, Remus. I- I really appreciate you giving me extra lessons.”
“I love you like a son, Harry.”
Potter lightened like a sun, got up, went around the table and embraced
the werewolf. Then he released Lupin and blushed. To Severus, it
appeared as if Potter wasn’t sure if he would be reprimanded.
Lupin smiled at the boy and asked if Harry wanted some more tea.
“No, thank you. I’m going to go to the Library and finish my Potions homework.”
“Good luck, then.” Lupin accompanied Potter to the door and Severus carefully slipped out around them.
Severus went back to his rooms, deep in thought. He had always
considered Lupin as uninteresting and feeble. He thought about Lupin as
a weak man since he had watched calmly as Potter and Black tortured
Severus again and again.
Severus clenched his fists.
Severus had to admit to himself, though, that apart from the horrible
night of the full moon, Lupin had never attacked him, never laid a hand
or his wand on him. Even when Black had tried to hype him up to it. ‘Not as bad as Potter and Black, but weak, indifferent, without his own opinion, and careless.’
Now he had started discovering another Lupin. A Lupin who had, in a
calm way, persuaded Potter to learn Occlumency again, willingly this
time. A Lupin who had made Potter offer his apologies, something that
Snape had never recalled seeing Potter do. ‘Maybe
Lupin made Potter, the older, and Black ashamed too? Maybe without his
influence they would have tortured me more? More often, more severely,
more mockingly?’ There was no way to find out now. Why
should it bother Severus anyway? Why was he pondering Lupin’s part in
the bullying, his opinion, his influence? Why should Severus care about
the werewolf at all?
Severus forbade himself thinking about how much he would like to sit in
the chair in Lupin’s chamber, in so peaceful an atmosphere, being
offered tea and biscuits.
The Potions Master knew he wouldn’t be able to concentrate on reading,
and the only way to calm his nerves was brewing. He went to his lab,
and found that the testing version of the pain potion he had brewed
earlier had cooled down enough for testing. He started to mix separate
ingredients with the brew. He wasn’t only mixing raw ingredients, of
course, each ingredient must have been tested in a condition which it
would be added to Wolfsbane. Severus tested about half of the
ingredients and then he realised he was painfully tired. He checked his
watch, it was three hours after midnight. He groaned- he was supposed
to lead a class early in the morning.
The serpent clock hissed in alarm immediately after Severus went to
sleep, or at least he felt so. He got up with the feeling that someone
put sand in his eyes. But it was eight o’clock, and he really needed to
get up to be in class in thirty minutes. He thanked the serpent clock
inwardly. It was the best thing that was left from his inheritance. The
clock would have woken him at six if he would have told it he wanted to
brew before classes; it would wake him at seven if he hadn’t gone to
bed after midnight. And it woke him up at eight today, as it was the
last time possible for making it to his first lesson.
Severus went to the bathroom, put his robes on and went to make himself
a cup of tea. He noticed Lupin’s vial of Dreamless Sleep. He decided he
would give it to the werewolf at lunch and put the vial into his pocket.
Lupin wasn’t in the Great Hall for lunch, however, and when Severus
checked the Map between lunch and his afternoon classes, he found the
werewolf wasn’t in the castle at all.
Before the second double lesson of the afternoon Severus checked the
Map again. Lupin was in his chambers. Severus decided he would bring
the Dreamless to dinner. However, when the class of six year Slytherins
and Gryffindors was about to end, Severus was near to collapsing. He
decided to skip the dinner for a good sleep. Monday schedule was a hell
“Class dismissed. Mr. Potter, you stay behind.”
The brat approached Severus with defiant glare.
“Mr. Potter, will you be so kind as to bring this vial to Professor Lupin?”
“I recall I told you to address me properly, Mr. Potter,” Severus said
in a dangerous tone. He really wasn’t in mood for the boy’s
“What is that, Professor?”
“None of your business, Mr. Potter. It is a Dreamless Sleep.” And Snape
added sarcastically: “It is used for sleeping dreamlessly, if you can’t
recall your second year classes.”
“Why you? Why Poppy doesn’t brew it for him?” Potter eyed him with suspicion.
“Madam Pomfrey to you, Mr. Potter. Now get out.”
“Why you?” the boy didn’t move.
“You want to poison him!” Potter screamed.
“Twenty points from Gryffindor, two detentions with Filch and six
inches of text on the theme ‘Why I shouldn’t be rude, how to address my
Professors correctly, and why it is not healthy to be a dense and
impudent student.’ And now GET OUT!” The last words were roared. Potter
turned on his heel and fled.
Severus closed his eyes and tried to calm his breath.
‘So much for trying to be patient with Potter.’
Severus went to his chambers and ordered himself a dinner. While eating
he was watching people in the Map. Lupin still wasn’t in the Great
Hall. He was in his living room, and Severus suddenly felt a strong
desire to sit there with the man, eating dinner or sipping tea. Severus
ordered himself to stop this trail of thoughts.
He realised he was still too angry to go to sleep. He was tempted to go
and test more of the Wolfsbane ingredients, but if he started, he knew,
he wouldn’t stop at a reasonable hour. He decided to organise his notes
of the testing. It was boring work, but he knew it could be quite
helpful for the next level of improving a potion, or inventing new
variations of the potion. It was a work that could always lull him to
sleep in a short time.
Before he went to bedroom, he checked the Map. Potter was at Lupin’s again. ‘Oh, great. Now he’s complaining that I gave him detentions and lost Gryffindor house points. Feeding Lupin’s dislike,’ Severus thought sadly and climbed into his cold bed.
The next morning Severus was drinking his tea after a proper breakfast
in the Great Hall. He felt rested and quite optimistic. In the
afternoon he had no classes to teach. He was looking forward spending a
couple of pleasant hours in his lab. Lupin’s entry in the Hall
distracted Severus from his contemplation. He eyed Lupin warily. ‘What had Potter told him?’ passed by empty chairs and approached the Potion Master.
“Good morning, Severus,” he greeted, “Is this chair free?”
“Good morning. It is.”
The werewolf didn’t seem to be angry. Severus hated himself for his nervousness. ‘Who cares whether Lupin is angry?’
“Thank you for the potion, Severus.”
Snape just nodded.
“I really do appreciate it.”
Severus nodded again. ‘Say something!’ his brain screamed at him, ‘You wanted a chat with him. Stop nodding like a mule and SAY SOMETHING!’
“Do you have any news from Dumbledore, Lupin?”
“No, I didn’t meet him. I need to report some news about werewolves, though, so I suppose there will be a Meeting soon.”
“Well, semi-good.” Lupin frowned. “Some werewolves would consider joining our side; however, they have some conditions.”
Severus was about to answer when Flitwick and Trelawney came to the staff table. ‘Time to stop talking about the business of Order.’ Severus finished his tea and stood. He nodded to Remus and left.
“Nice day, Severus.”
It was late afternoon, and Severus was nearly purring. The testing of
the Wolfsbane ingredients with the experimental pain potion had been
successful. None of the ingredients showed any bad reaction when mixed
with the testing potion. Even the most tricky substance, melted and
infused Wolfsbane roots, seemed to be reacting well. The only part of
the experiments was left now was testing the reaction of complete
Wolfsbane potion with the experimental pain potion. If all the tests
would go well, the potion could be tested on animals.
Severus felt victorious. Triumphant. Proud. It felt good.
He didn’t feel like being scowled at, and so once again he took his
dinner in his chambers. Dumbledore’s absence at Hogwarts had some
After dinner Severus sat in his chair and opened the Map. Lupin was walking towards his chambers. ‘He has a tutoring session with Potter,’ Severus realised.
Severus felt a sudden curiosity about what Lupin’s approach would be to
teach him Occlumency and Legilimency. He took the invisibility cloak
and the Map and left his dungeons.
Severus stood before Lupin’s doors, waiting for Potter. The boy came,
and the invisible Potions Master got inside with him again. Severus hid
in the corner, as the previous time, and watched Lupin teaching Potter
practise his wandless magic on various spells and hexes. Lupin was a
calm teacher, and Severus could see clearly that Potter was doing his
best to fulfil the teacher’s demands. Severus also had to admit, that
the boy was quite gifted in the area of the Arts.
“OK, that was enough.” Lupin said finally. “Please, sit down, Harry.”
The boy sat in a chair and Lupin went towards the bookcase in the
corner where Severus was hiding. The hidden man held his breath. The
werewolf took a book from the shelf and went back to the table.
“Thumb through the book quickly, Harry,” He handed Potter the book and
while the boy was skimming through pages, he poured two cups of tea
from the teapot.
“As the first step, you will try some meditation exercise,” Lupin said
when Potter was finished with the book. “I would like you to try three
things tonight. First, try to clear your mind of all thoughts and
things. Second, try to imagine an endless space. An endless ocean,
infinite universe, or an unending plane, whatever. You must try and
find what is the most suitable for you. And the third thing, try to
build a brick wall in your mind.”
Potter, who seemed to be listening, carefully nodded.
“Good. Harry, clear your mind now. You may want to close your eyes.” Lupin suggested.
Severus watched the boy as he tried to concentrate with his eyes closed. ‘Of course, start slowly, start with meditation, spoon-feed the brat.‘
He had tried to lead Potter in looking for a way how to protect himself
against Legilimency on his own, to teach him to be independent.
Theoretically, it was the quickest way to learn something. ‘Maybe I should have changed the approach when Potter displayed no ability to be learning by himself.’
Severus was sitting in the corner silently, thinking, while Potter
tried the second and third task and listened to Lupin’s counsels.
Finally the DADA teacher said it was enough for one night.
“Try to meditate in the morning and in the evening, Harry. On Friday
afternoon we will try some more exercises, and then I will lend you the
book, so that you can start reading it during the weekend.”
Lupin and Potter stood up. “Good night, Harry, you’ve done very well tonight.”
The boy turned pink and smiled.
“Good night, Remus.” He hesitated. “Thank you.”
“You are very welcome, Harry. Good night.”
Severus stood up carefully. But the werewolf didn’t walk Potter to the
doors, but went back to the bookcase and blocked Severus’ way
Severus stood very silently, holding his breath. He was thinking
fervently- what was he going to do? How was he supposed to leave warded
chambers if not now with Potter?
He watched the door open and close behind the boy and tried not to panic.
Lupin set the Occlumency book back on a shelf and said calmly: “Maybe you could sit down, Severus, and have some tea?”
Severus was shocked. He was with his back up against the wall, the both
literally and figuratively. His instinct prodded him to flee to the
other side of the Earth and never come back. His rational mind knew he
cannot even get out of the room. Not to mention that the only safe
place for him was at Hogwarts. It was a helpless situation. He didn’t
“Come on, Severus, I would smell you even around a corner.”
‘What? Lupin knew about me. Even- Even the last time?’ Thoughts in Severus’ mind were swirling.
Just when Severus’ brain brought up the brilliant idea to hex Lupin and
then Obliviate him, the said werewolf simply held his hand out and
pushed the invisible hood from Snape’s head.
It was all Severus could do to not show the panic on his face and in
his eyes. Lupin studied him for a few seconds and then he stepped back.
“Will you take a cup of tea with me, Severus?”
The head with bemused expression moved in the air towards to tea table.
“You might want to take off the cloak, Severus?”
‘Damn him, he even managed to make the order sound like a question!’ The
Potions Master felt like a small pupil waiting for a reprimand. Fearing
it, but longing for it as well, because after an objurgation he would
feel less guilty. ‘So this is how it works,’ he thought while stripping of the invisibility cloak.
Lupin brought him a cup and poured him tea, then refilled his own cup and sat down opposite Severus.
Remus was sipping his tea and seemed to be relaxed. Severus sat rigidly on the end of the chair.
“The tea is not poisoned, you know.”
“Will you tell Dumbledore? ” Severus ripped out. ‘The stupidest question ever,’ his brain screamed at him, ‘Why don’t you send him to Dumbledore even sooner?’
“No, calm down. I am a big boy and can take care about my business.”
However hard Severus tried, he couldn’t find any hint of mockery in the
Severus felt relieved. He struggled with his pride for a moment and then said quietly: “Thank you.”
“I would want you to answer a few questions for me, though.”
Severus nodded miserably.
Severus fought his body that wanted to fidget. He shrugged and kept his eyes on the teapot.
The other man waited for a few moments till he saw he wouldn’t get any
answer. To Severus’ surprise he didn’t insist on a reply and asked
another question instead.
“This wasn’t the first time, was it?”
As the werewolf had said he could smell Snape, it wasn’t worth trying
to lie. There was no point to get Lupin any angrier than he certainly
Snape shook his head.
“How many times?”
“T- twice.” Severus’ voice was raw, and he hated himself for the stuttering.
Lupin watched him intently.
“You said you could have smelled me.” Severus said defensively.
“I can smell Wolfsbane.” Lupin explained. Then he frowned. “You were
brewing it today? I should take it tomorrow… and it isn’t possible to
store it, is it?”
Severus would have loved to snap back that it was nothing of the man’s
business why he had been brewing it today. He bit the retort, though. ‘I should be grateful that the questions got off the ticklish topic.’
“I was experimenting.”
Lupin’s eyes widened. “You are improving Wolfsbane?”
“No,” the Potion master hesitated. He wasn´t used to telling
anyone what he was working on. But this situation was special. He
sighed inwardly. “I am trying to invent a pain killer that won’t
interfere with Wolfsbane Potion,” he explained.
“Oh.” Lupin was evidently surprised. There were more emotions in his eyes, but Severus couldn’t sort them out.
He continued quickly, before Lupin could decide to get back to the main
topic. “I have been working on it about three years. Some of the
Wolfsbane ingredients are rather tricky and react wildly to nearly any
substance added. Now it seems it is nearly finished. If nothing turns
wrong, that is,” he continued quickly. “And it of course can fail when
tested on animals.”
“Werewolves tend to be considered more valuable than animals,
surprisingly.” Severus couldn’t have given a scathing remark a miss.
Then he inwardly reprimanded himself sharply.
But the werewolf only smiled amusedly. “Are they?”
They sat quietly for a moment and Severus finally had some of the tea.
“Why, Severus?” Lupin asked softly.
Severus couldn’t help himself and fidgeted. He was glad he had the cup
in his hand. He could focus on it. He opened his mouth once but he
realised he had no clue what to say and he shook his head again.
“Maybe you will tell me tomorrow when you bring me a dose of Wolfsbane?”
Severus took it as a hint of chance he could leave now and got up. Lupin stood up too.
“I will keep the cloak, if you don’t mind, Severus.”
The said man just nodded.
“Good night, then.”
Severus turned around and went to the door. He hesitated. “You don’t
want to take any advantage of the situation?” He knew his voice showed
his disbelief clearly.
“A steady supply of Wolfsbane Potion till the end of your days?” Severus more joked than meant it.
“It would be very welcome. It’s not a condition, though.” Lupin pulled out his wand and lowered the wards.
Severus waited. When the werewolf said nothing, he pushed the handle.
“Good night, Lupin.”
“There is one thing, though, when I think about it now.”
“I wish you’d call me Remus.”
Severus released his breath and left, feeling the most confused ever.
But the well of surprises wasn’t dried up just yet. When Severus
reached the door of his chambers, he found Potter standing there,
“Hello, I – I came to apologise for what I said yesterday. Sir.”
Severus stared at the boy in disbelief. ‘What a kind of a prank is this?’ Then he realized, in a weird association, that he had never apologised to Lupin.
“Very well, Mr. Potter. I suppose I should absolve you from writing the text.” ‘That was probably the purpose of the apology anyway.’
“You would?” Harry appeared bemused.
“I would. Good night, Mr. Potter. The curfew is in a quarter of an hour.”
“And the detentions?”
“Don’t push it, Mr. Potter.” Severus said, but his voice wasn’t as harsh as it should have been.
“Okay. Just wanted to ask. Sir. Good night,” the annoying boy ran away with his annoying grin all around his annoying face.
Severus’ Wednesday afternoon was spent brewing the first dose of
Wolfsbane Potion. Before dinner, Severus brought the steaming goblet to
Severus walked up to the door and knocked. The werewolf opened the door
so soon that he must have been waiting right behind the door.
“Good evening, Severus.”
“What? Oh… Good evening, Remus. Satisfied?”
Lupin just smiled and invited the Potions Master in.
Snape handed him the goblet. “You should drink it while it’s hot.”
“Of course. Thank you, Severus. I am grateful that you brew it for me.”
Lupin continued repeating his thanks every time, even if the brewer
never acknowledged them.
The werewolf sipped the ill-smelling potion carefully. “I wondered if
you would join me for dinner tonight?” he asked between two sips.
Severus was sure his surprise must have been clear in his face, and he
remembered suddenly how much he had wanted to sit here with Lupin,
peacefully. ‘But will it be peaceful?’ Finally Severus decided it was worth the risk and nodded. “Very well.”
Lupin seemed to be pleased. He finished the potion and moved to the table in the centre of the room.
“Shall we start? I’m starving.”
They sat down and Lupin called a house elf. Soon the both of them were
helping themselves to the delicious meal. They ate their dinner in
complete silence, but it was a very pleasant experience for Severus. He
detested inane small talk.
“Would you stay for coffee or tea, Severus?”
“Feel free to say no. I know you are very busy, with teaching and brewing for infirmary and with the Wolfsbane.” Lupin said.
Severus reached his decision. “Black tea, without sugar or milk.”
They moved to the coffee table and chairs they had occupied the day
before, and the host went to put the kettle on. Soon they were both
seated comfortably with steaming cups before them.
“Why,” Lupin started and Severus stiffened. He could have seen this
coming. “Did you decide to invent a pain killer for werewolves,
Severus?” Lupin continued, and Severus released his breath.
“It was a challenge. I’ve read that the change is very painful. Those
were probably the reasons,” Severus explained pensively, “Though I
hadn’t thought about why I had chosen to create it.”
“In any case, I thank you.” Lupin was thinking for a moment and then he
added. “You probably know- it’s already less painful to change with the
“Severus,” Remus turned very serious now, “Why were you here? What was the reason?”
‘Here we go.’ “I don’t think I could explain it.”
“The reason was that you didn’t believe me, wasn’t it?”
“That’s what you think?” Severus looked at him incredulously.
“Otherwise I would have to think that you were spying on me for the Dark Lord.”
Severus just stared at the man.
“I don’t believe that, though. Albus believes you’re on our side and I believe it too.”
Snape was pondering it for a moment and than he sighed. He should better try to explain Lupin the real reason. ‘But what is the real reason?’ He sighed again.
“It was neither, Lupin. Remus. I heard you talking to Potter the day I
confiscated the damned cloak. I- You were different. I wanted to
reassure myself that you weren’t.”
Severus saw Lupin blinking in confusion. He snapped his fingers angrily. ‘Very eloquent. Aren’t you supposed to be a teacher?’
Snape tried again, but knew he was just making a fool of himself. “I
had always supposed you to be weak and pointless. Saturday I saw that
you might not be.”
“And you went here to make sure I am weak and pointless?”
Severus shrugged helplessly.
“I should go.”
The werewolf raised his hand in a disapproving gesture. ”Don’t, please.
You are welcome here, Severus. And," Lupin smiled lightly, "You are
welcome to learn my weaknesses and strong points.”
“I – thank you.” Severus hesitated. “I never apologised.”
“What days you were here, by the way?”
“Sunday. You know about yesterday.”
“Pity. Monday could have been much more pleasurable for you.” Remus
smiled. When he saw Severus’ questioning expression, he clarified: “ I
am afraid I made a kind of speech about yourself to Harry. About the
lot of work you do and that you stay in your private lab late in
“How--? The Map.”
“The Map indeed. There were four at one time.” There was sadness in
Lupin’s eyes. “I really think the both of us could appreciate a
“I will bring you your second dose tomorrow.”
“Good night, Severus.”
The next day Severus held a double afternoon lesson, so he started to
brew Wolfsbane quite late, and was brewing far past dinner time.
“Severus,” Lupin welcomed him, evidently relieved. “Come in, please.”
The Potion master stepped in and Remus took the potion immediately.
“I had afternoon classes. Tomorrow I will bring it early. Around four
o’clock.” Severus wasn’t sure why he was trying to give reasons or to
calm the man down.
“Thank you, Severus.” Remus closed his eyes for a moment and took a
calming breath. “I am always nervous during the days before the full
moon. I get irritated and snap easily.”
“Snap?” Severus asked dumbly. ‘Snap? Lupin? Absurd.’ But he could feel that Lupin’s calm appearance was hiding power and strong emotions. ‘My instinct told me,’ he realised, ‘I didn’t try to calm him down without a reason.’ He wasn’t sure why Lupin seemed to be apologising.
“To get angry. To lash out.”
“I know what it is to snap, Lupin,” Severus snapped.
Remus smiled. “And you can convey a good example of it.”
When Snape just scowled, he added: “Come on, Severus, let’s have a cup of tea. Did you take a dinner, by the way?”
“No.” Severus sat down.
The two men spent another pleasant evening together. Severus started to
become pretty sleepy, and he saw that Lupin was quite tired too, but
Remus showed no intention of ending the friendly encounter.
Finally, Severus realised he really should leave, it was late and he had work in only a few hours.
Snape slept poorly in the night. Three times he woke up covered in
sweat. The Dark Lord, Potter and Black, and pack of wild wolves took
turns in his dreams, and he didn’t feel like trying to lull himself to
sleep for a fourth time.
Severus taught his morning classes tiredly, and after a quick early
lunch in the Great Hall, he went to brew the last monthly dose of
Walking towards the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher’s quarters,
he couldn’t help but hope he would spend another peaceful time with
Lupin. ‘I am going crazy. Three times in three days. What is wrong with me?’
The door was opened by Potter.
‘So much for hopes. It serves you right, you idiot,’
“Hallo, Professor,” Potter greeted mannerly.
“Potter,” Severus gave the boy a nod.
“Good bye, Remus,” Potter called into the room.
“Bye, Harry. You did very well today.”
The boy left smiling, saying goodbye to Snape in a nearly cheerful tone.
“You seem to have a good influence on the boy,” Severus stepped into the room and handed the goblet to Lupin.
“He is a good boy. He reminds me so much of his parents.” Remus
answered between gulps, and gestured Snape to sit down in the chair.
“I would say he is loosing his disturbing similarity with his father in his behaviour.”
Remus sat in the opposite chair and scowled: “James is dead, Severus.
If you can’t talk about him in a good light, please don’t do it at all.”
“So he is dead and all his crimes are nullified?” Snape snorted.
“So that is.”
“No, it’s not. He was a scumbag, and so was Black. Death doesn’t change anything of the fact.”
Remus got up and started pacing. “I believe I asked you to leave the
topic.” He said it very softly, suppressed anger threatening to explode.
Severus knew he should stop. Lupin was angry, and it was just a few
hours before the full moon. This was the snapping Lupin had been
talking about the previous day.
But Severus was angry too, and he couldn’t resist the temptation. He
had a perverted urge to let the werewolf snap to see what would happen.
He suppressed his instincts and fired back: “You said I was welcome
here. If it was just an invitation to listen to the eulogies of two
idiotic brats that made my life hell, I had better leave!”
Severus stood up too. He could see Remus was fighting his anger. He had
his fists clenched and stood rigidly in the middle of the room. He
exhaled loudly. “Yes,” he said slowly, “You had better leave.”
Severus headed towards the door, and he felt the amber eyes bore into his back.
He couldn’t resist and turned back: “Now I see how stupid I was,
believing you wanted to befriend me. Another bloody prank. Bravo,
Lupin. Your flea-bitten lover and the four-eyed criminal would be
Lupin snapped. He stayed motionless at first, but Severus could see it
in his eyes. In the amber flashed deadly black anger. Suddenly, Lupin
moved quicker than Severus could manage to pull out his wand. Remus
grabbed him and smacked him to the wall, growling deeply.
Remus grabbed him by the hair and yanked his head back. Snape cried out
when his head hit the stone wall hardly. Lupin lowered his mouth to
Severus’ exposed neck and growled again. Severus could feel his breath
on the sensitive skin. Lupin might have been in his human form, but
there was nothing human in his behaviour.
Severus trembled. “Please,” he whispered brokenly.
Lupin sniffed at his throat and then finally he released his grip.
Severus breathed out and wanted to straighten. Another growl stopped
him. Then the strong hand grabbed his shoulder and pushed him down on
his hand and knees. He felt Lupin’s weight on his back. He was scared
and he felt defenceless, but dreaded that moving would annoy the
werewolf even more.
Remus touched his chin and signified he wanted Severus to turn his head
by pressing on Severus’ jawbone. The terrified man obeyed the silent
Lupin growled again, but it was more satisfied and victorious sound.
Then he kissed Severus’ mouth possessively. He released Severus’ head,
and then stayed motionless for a few moments that felt like hours to
Finally Remus freed Severus, stood up and gave Severus’ shoulder a tug.
Severus understood it as an order to stand up, but wasn’t sure, so he
moved slowly, trying to indicate his obedience. When he straightened he
looked at Lupin warily. Remus gestured him to leave. Severus was eager
to obey. He fled.
Severus couldn’t recall how he’d gotten into his chambers. He fell into his armchair by the fireplace, his whole body shaking. ‘What the hell just happened?’
He was sitting there for hours before he calmed down enough to light the fire and pour himself a glass of Scotch.
He knew he shouldn’t have tried Lupin’s patience. But he was so much of a fool to adding a spirit into a fire. ‘Another very clever decision in the list, Severus!’
he berated himself. And what could have happened if... Severus started
to shake again. He saw the beast. For the second time in his life. No,
he definitely shouldn’t have provoked the werewolf. ‘He could have bitten me!’
‘But what was that all about?’ Severus understood the first angry part when Lupin nearly ripped his throat. ‘But when he pushed me down and pinned me under his strong body...’ Severus swallowed soundly. ‘It felt like... And then he kissed me.’ Severus felt bewildered and recalled his pathetic begging. How easily he submitted. ‘The Sly Slytherin part combined with a bottom slut part,’ he thought self-deprecatingly. ‘A serving, wanton, bottom slut’ Severus recalled the term Lucius had called him when he had started to abuse their master and pet relationship. ‘…When he got bored of me,’ another self-deprecating thought followed. Severus shook his head sadly and went to bed, deadly tired.
Severus was pinned under a warm body,
but there was no fear this time, but safety and desire. Strong hands
massaged his chest and twisted his nipples occasionally. His throat was
kissed and licked.
“Ready for more, Severus?” a familiar voice showed excitement and desire.
“Yes, please,” he begged, “please, Remus.”
The body lifted a bit and cool air of
dungeons cooled down his bottom. Then the wonderful strong hand slicked
with a lubricant covered his hole, massaging it around, toughing up to
his balls every now and then. Severus moaned. This was his favourite
part of foreplay. It left him relaxed and yet on the verge of climax.
A finger circled around the hole for a few times and then pressed in gently.
Remus was panting, yet he was
endlessly patient, and slowly massaged Severus with one finger, then
two and finally added a third, stretching and brushing Severus’
prostate occasionally. When he finally asked Severus if he were
prepared to be taken, Severus was jelly, and barely managed to nod into
Remus took him, pressing in and
pulling out so gently and slowly, as it all had been, and it wasn’t
before Severus started to beg for more, that he quickened the pace and
his still slick hand found its way to Severus’ rock hard cock. As soon
as he touched Severus’ member, Severus climaxed. It felt like forever,
and all Severus could do was to catch enough air not to suffocate.
Remus waited motionlessly until
Severus snapped back from his after-climax glow, and then he began to
move again. “So tight and sweet. Your body is so lovely, Severus, I
would lick you and fuck you till the end of the world.” Severus felt
Remus come then, bucking into his body.
And afterwards, Remus didn’t leave,
but was holding Severus in his arms, stroking his back and caressed his
hair, whispering sweet nonsenses.
Severus woke up with a very pleasant feeling of being sated. However, a
flash of memory of the disastrous evening incident crashed into his
light mood like a mad hippogriff. ‘What have I done?! There will be no more pleasant evenings in Lupin’s sitting room.’ And if Lupin had complained to Dumbledore or McGonagall, Severus realised, there was no doubt about who would be found guilty.
Severus got up sadly and noticed a dried stain on the front of his trousers. ‘Now, this is pathetic!’
he berated himself and went on with his morning routine. He was in the
middle of his second cup of tea, making plans about brewing all
Saturday, when he suddenly remembered the dream. ‘I had a wet dream about Lupin.’ Severus was gobsmacked.
Stepping back, he pondered the surprising fact and realised it was only
natural. Yesterday, Lupin seemed to be everything Severus wanted in a
lover. Strong and dominant, requiring submission, and as he obtained
it, he didn’t do Severus any harm, but still let him be aware of the
threat of punishment if his orders weren’t obeyed. ‘Is he like this even when he’s not pissed off to the verge of killing?’
Severus realised he knew less than nothing about werewolves’ social and
sexual habits. The only fact he could recall was that the only urge
stronger than ripping humans to shreds was to answer the calling of a
fellow of his kind. ‘During full moon nights, that is.’
Other days, Lupin must be ‘normal’, mustn’t he, he had Black as a
lover, who was certainly not a werewolf, if Severus wasn’t mistaken.
Severus decided he had to find a book about it in the Library. But not
now. Now he needed calming effect of his safe dungeons. Empty, silent,
and strongly warded.
He moved into his lab and started new tests of the werewolf painkiller.
He had to brew Wolfsbane first and then mix it carefully with the
testing brew. Potion making, as usual, monopolised his mind completely,
and successfully pushed out all disturbing thoughts.
In the late afternoon when he was finished, though, his spleen came
back with full force. Severus tried to read, think, eat, but he always
ended up pacing like a caged animal. Finally, he decided he would
apologise Lupin in a letter. He was sitting by the table, a quill in
his hand and stared at the empty parchment. ‘What do people write when apologising?’
Severus was at an unknown area here. Finally he wrote a few words and
sent his owl, Nightshade, quickly, before he could lose his nerves.
I am sorry,
Severus started pacing again. ‘That letter was pathetic. I am pathetic. Just making a bigger fool of myself.’
Nightshade flew back through the small window, high on the wall.
Severus didn’t even look at her, but she flew directly to him, offering
her leg. Severus stiffened. There was his letter. Sent back. ‘Remus didn’t even read it.’
It shouldn’t have hurt so much. Nightshade clapped her beak
impatiently. Severus took the folded parchment and unrolled it without
thinking. His eyes widened. Under his words there was an answer.
It’s me who is sorry. I apologise for
my failure to control myself. I am extremely sorry. I know it’s too
much to ask you to forget the incident. If you ever wanted to join me
for a chat or a cup of tea, though, you will always be welcome.
P.S. I am sending you this parchment
back, I don’t doubt you would break into my office to collect the piece
of evidence. (Just joking!)
Severus’ face was curved into unusual shape. He was smiling. It was a shy, small smile, but it was there. ‘Remus read it, he forgave me, he apologised, he joked, he invited me!’
Severus thought unbelievingly. He couldn’t remember when he had felt
such a joy. Severus would have never believed he would cherish a
Gryffindor’s attributes, but now, he was over-appreciative for Remus’
forgiveness. He forgave so easily! Even for a Gryffindor.
‘Why was Lupin so forgiving anyway?’ Severus’ paranoid survival instincts kicked up. ‘Invading his privacy, belittling his dead best friends, and not even a slap on the wrist?’ This wasn’t the way how Severus’ world had been going for the last thirty-six years. ‘What is Lupin up to?’
Severus went to dinner in the Great Hall, and was reprimanded by the
Headmistress for not showing himself there more often. It was a soft
chide, but Severus could hear the order.
That was why he was taking his breakfast at the staff table in the
Sunday morning, obtaining a nod of approval from McGonagall. Severus
decided he would take his breakfast there and skip lunch and dinner.
What he hadn’t expected was Lupin’s appearance at the breakfast.
Severus cursed under his breath. He had chosen breakfast because was so
sure Lupin wouldn’t come. Severus didn’t feel like wanting to meet or
even confront Lupin before he thought the whole situation through.
Lupin slowly walked through the hall, pale and limping. He headed over to Severus.
“Good morning, Severus. Is the seat empty?”
“You look like hell.” ‘Remus really shouldn’t have left his quarters today.’
“Was that a yes?” Lupin’s voice sounded slightly amused.
Remus started his breakfast with baked eggs and cheese. He seemed to be
hesitant. A few times Severus thought he was going to say something,
but always seemed to back off. Then, when Severus finished his tea and
was about to rise and escape, Lupin said somehow timidly: “Severus,
would you accept my invitation for a cup of tea in my quarters?”
‘What for? Of course not!’ “Yes,” Severus was surprised to hear his own voice accepting.
“That is great.” Lupin seemed relieved.
‘What he was up to?’ “At three in the afternoon, then?”
“That would be perfect.”
Severus headed to the library. He felt confused and wary. Lupin had to be playing with him. ‘Was that his final revenge? For Potter, for Black, for having revealed Lupin’s lycanthropy?’
Severus tried to find anything he could about social life of
werewolves, not knowing why he bothered at all, and found nothing. As
big as the library was, there was no more than basic facts about shape
changers in any book.
Severus briefly pondered going to the Great hall for lunch but finally decided against. ‘To the hell with Minerva!’ He needed the solitude of his chambers to prepare mentally for meeting Lupin.
Severus was feeling anxious when he knocked on the Defence teacher’s door.
“Hello, Severus.” Lupin’s face was friendly, but tired and still there were visible lines of pain in it.
“Lupin.” Severus stepped into the room.
“So, back on family name?” Lupin said sadly.
‘What is that supposed to mean?!’
“Black tea?” The werewolf motioned to the tea table.
“Yes, thank you.” Severus sat in his usual chair and watched the other
man to pour tea in two mugs and to sit down with a wince that he tried
to hide unsuccessfully. “Lupin, you should be resting. We can talk
“No, please, Severus. Your presence isn’t going to worsen it.” He
sipped his tea, and then added so softly that Severus nearly missed it:
“To the contrary.”
Before than his visitor could consider the nearly inaudible remark,
Lupin continued with a small smile: “I must admit I would love to have
your special painkiller already.”
“The process of inventing is not a work for one night!” Severus
snapped, not because he would be offended by the remark, but because
his nerves were constantly on edge for the whole day. He stood up
abruptly and started pacing.
“What is this all about, Lupin?”
The sitting man seemed to be quite surprised by the turn of mood.
“What is what about, Severus?” he said calmly.
“You being friendly. Forgiving. Tolerant. You don’t shout. You don’t
complain to Dumbledore. You-” Severus was breathing heavily. He felt a
bit surprised by his own outburst.
“Severus…” Lupin fell silent, evidently thinking about what words to use.
“Is it revenge? Fine. Have your revenge. But wait until after the war, Lupin. The Dark Lord will very probably save you work.”
“What?” Lupin was stunned.
“I might have lived uselessly, but I don’t want to die uselessly. I
want to pay for my mistake I did twenty years ago, not to die in petty
“Petty?” Lupin said, his voice colourless.
“So not petty. Whatever.” Severus ran his hands through his hair in
despair. “Lupin, let me fight against the Dark Lord. It’s your dear
Potter’s skin I am trying to save, after all.”
Severus’ breath was coming in gasps. He couldn’t remember when he had
lost his temper like this. And he didn’t care. He was tired. ‘When will I finally learn my lesson? When I will learn that there is no friendship, no compassion for me?’
Severus realised that Lupin was talking to him. ‘What did he say?’
Lupin was now approaching Severus. But he didn’t feel any fear. Did
Lupin want to kill him? So let it happen. Contrary to own words,
Severus didn’t want to fight. He was tired and wanted nothing than
repose and to be taken care of. Something he wanted for all his life,
Severus looked at the werewolf blankly.
“Sit down, please.”
He sat down numbly. Lupin refilled his cup and Severus stared at the steaming liquid thoughtlessly.
“Severus, listen. Are you listening? Severus!”
Severus finally raised his eyes.
“Fine. Now, let me go through all of it before you start up again. I am
glad and appreciative that you fight on our side against You-Know-Who.
I believe you paid for that
part of your mistakes more than enough. I don’t want any revenge. I
even don’t know why you think I would.” Lupin stopped and looked at
Severus questioningly. But he was just staring at him.
“I didn’t complain to Dumbledore, why should I? I take care of my
things myself. And you of all should understand why I am not shouting
or starting after anyone. You saw just few days ago how hard it is to
control the beast inside me. God, I nearly hurt you. And I scared you
away. I am so sorry, Severus.” Now it was Lupin who ran his hands
through his light brown hair. “It’s you, Severus, who has something to
“What happened that evening before full moon, Lupin- Remus?” Severus asked softly, hesitantly.
Remus hid his face behind his hands. He sighed. “What do you know about
werewolves, Severus? Except of the changing part and potions?”
“Well, werewolves live in packs. Every pack has a dominant male, a
leader. Every lone male werewolf is a leader and takes people around
him as his pack.” ‘Lupin talked in short sentences, was that the level of thinking of werewolves?’
“A leader dominates his pack, others follow his rules and orders, and
they are under his protection, he looks after them. Werewolves have a
deep sense of hierarchy, usually no one disobeys a leader’s orders, it
happens only if some other male wants to challenge him.”
Lupin looked Severus in the eyes for a moment and then continued:
“Leader beats the challenger, or, if he is not strong enough, the
challenger assumes leadership.” He sighed deeply. “Those days before
full moons it is hard to realise and to respect that humans disobey or
disagree without wanting to challenge the position.”
Remus hesitated and then inhaled deeply.
“What I did, however, wasn’t just fighting your challenge.”
Lupin looked at his visitor, who nodded. Remus got up and started pacing, but then forced himself back into the armchair.
“I- I feel attracted to you, Severus. I treated you as a mate and as a
challenger in the same time. Two instincts were fighting. For the
werewolf, it was a confusing situation, because a female partner would
never challenge him.” Lupin covered his eyes with his left hand and
then rubbed them, exhausted and ashamed. “I am sorry.”
“But-” Severus started and then hesitated. He licked his lips and
blushed slightly. “But why you treated me as-” Severus hated himself
for stuttering. ‘A bit of a coward, are we?’ His brain had an axe to grind.
“As my partner?” Lupin looked at him guiltily, “I am sure you hate me
for that.” He hesitated. “As I said, I have been feeling attracted to
you for some time now. And now, when we let the past go, we were
getting along quite well.” Lupin looked away.
“Sometimes- That was why I wasn’t angry with you, I believed, no, I
wanted to believe that you were here, invisible, because you were
attracted to me, or at least thinking about it. Also-” it seemed that
once Remus started, he couldn’t stop: “- you sometimes seemed lost, and
in need of my care, and maybe even willing to accept it. It was
probably just a wish, of course.”
Remus swallowed. “Well,” he said finally, “now you probably know more
than you wanted. I’m sorry. For everything.” Remus finished, his shame
evident upon his face.
Severus was sitting in the armchair, unmoving, like a statue. ‘Could that be true?’
Severus had never heard anything sounding so improbable yet. Well, with
the exception of Potter’s surviving the killing course fifteen years
ago. ‘It’s so absurd that it really could be true.’ Lupin would hardly put himself at risk of Severus spreading tales about his infatuation, after all. ‘He is attracted to me?’
Severus shook his head in confusion and noticed that Remus seems to be more than uncomfortable.
Remus watched him intently.
‘Is that a hint of pleading in his eyes?’
“It is so- unbelievable.” Severus paused. “And with the attraction- ”
“I am sorry.” The werewolf repeated himself.
“No. You weren’t completely mistaken. I- I was thinking about a relationship with you.”
Remus straightened in his armchair.
Severus started, eyeing the werewolf warily.
“Remus, I said I was thinking about it. I- You know I don’t give my
trust or confidence easily.” Remus smiled understandingly. Severus
continued: “And that getting along wasn’t actually so perfect.”
The other man’s smile vanished immediately.
“I don’t blame you, Remus, I know I pushed you. I knew you were angry.
I just- Maybe I wanted to know if you would hurt me.” Severus said
Remus asked hesitantly: “You don’t mind the dominance part? That’s why
I’d never guessed you would be interested at all, because you seem to
be an alpha yourself.”
Severus blushed: “Not in- that area.”
Remus stood and took Severus by surprise when he kneeled before his
chair. “Severus, I swear I will give you all the time you will need. If
you want to try, that is.” He slowly brought himself closer, giving
Severus time to pull out if he wanted, and kissed Severus on a pale
Severus touched his cheek with a feeling of unreality. He moved his
head unknowingly, so that his lips were very near to Lupin’s. Severus
in his confusion never seen the struggle of emotion in Remus’ face. The
lust won. He kissed Severus on his lips. Another short, light kiss
quickly followed. Severus neither pulled back, nor kissed back.
“Mmmm.” ‘I like it.’
After a few kisses, Remus collected himself with a slight difficulty.
“As slowly as you want, Severus,” he whispered. He returned to his
armchair and poured more tea. They were sitting together for a long
time before Severus left with a final kiss, but they didn’t speak. One
more word would be one too much.
“You are SO loveable,” Remus
whispered, his strong body pressed tightly to Severus’ from behind, his
penis, hard and hot, was nuzzling Severus’ slit between his buttocks.
Severus, still half-asleep, felt
himself growing too. It was barely dawn and there was a promising
prospect of going to teach his classes pleasantly sated. He slowly
shifted to lie on his back, and gave Remus a shy kiss.
Remus took the dark-haired head
between his hands and answered the kiss passionately. He moved slowly,
till they were pressed chest to chest, cock to cock. They moaned into
each other’s mouths, separating only to gasp for breath.
Remus’ mouth travelled to Severus’
firm jaw, then his ear, and then doted on the pale long neck, eliciting
soft moans. Remus tasted a small bit of the delicate skin. Moans
intensified. Remus smiled contentedly, blemishing the white neck with
small pink love marks.
He moved his attention to Severus’ chest. “Gorgeous nipples,” Remus murmured, and tasted them.
Remus’s mouth came back to Severus
lips and he bit the lower lip delicately while he thrusted his hips.
Severus cried out, Remus groaned.
“Please what, Severus?” he teased.
“Please, take me. Make me yours.”
Remus groaned deep in his throat and reached for a lubricant.
“I will shag you senseless, and you
will scream my name when you come.” Severus threw back his head,
moaning constantly now. Dirty talk had always worked for him, and Remus
knew it. “But before that,” Remus continued, satisfied with the result,
“before that your arsehole gets the massage of its pitiful life,” he
paused, “I won’t enter you till you cry and beg me to fuck you like a
Severus was panting now and tried to buck his hips, but he could hardly move under the solid body.
“So eager,” Remus smiled wickedly and
moved between Severus’s spread legs. One strong hand held Severus on
his place and the other, slippery with the lubricant, skirted his hole.
It wasn’t until Severus started to
beg that one of Remus’ fingers slipped in, soon followed by another
two. Remus kept his word, and refused to enter Severus until he was on
the verge of crying with need.
Their slow lovemaking gradually
transformed into an unleashed fucking. Remus moved in Severus faster
and faster, hitting his sweet spot with every move, leaving him moaning
and gasping for air.
After their climax, both men fell on
the bed boneless. Remus, cold as their heat declined, stirred slowly
and covered them with a blanket, quickly following Severus into sleep.
Severus woke up, remembering the dream. God, it felt good. He couldn’t believe that those dreams could become true. Remus had said it was up to him to say when he was prepared.
Severus met Remus at breakfast.
“Hello Severus,” the man greeted him, friendly, “this chair is empty.”
They ate in comfortable silence. Severus saw Harry Potter begin to
approach the staff table. He prepared a cutting brush off, but Remus
gave his hand a discreet but strong squeeze. Severus was startled for a
second, but then he remembered - he was part of Remus’ pack, but Potter
was a part as well, for sure. If one of them should be kicked out,
Severus couldn’t compete with Potter, he knew. He lowered his head
obediently and continued eating his breakfast.
“Good morning, Professors.”
“Good morning, Harry.” Remus smiled. Severus acknowledged Potter’s presence with a curt nod.
“I would like to ask you, Remus, if I could have my extra lesson today instead of tomorrow.”
“It won’t be a problem, Harry. What is happening tomorrow?”
“Ravenclaw’s team’s having a Quidditch trial for two free positions,
and wanted me to help them choose the best players.” Potter said
“At six o’clock, then, Harry?”
“That would be perfect. Thank you, Remus.” The bane of Severus’ existence skipped away happily.
Severus waited to see if the leader of the pack would reprimand him,
but he didn’t. Remus only yawned and said: “I had a horrible night.”
“I slept wonderfully,” Severus said silently and continued cheekily: “I dreamed you were shagging me half of the night.”
Remus gasped. His eyes turned to Severus, black pupils nearly replacing
amber iris. His cheeks flushed and breathing quickened. Severus smirked
contentedly seeing the effect. He got up. “Excuse me, I have classes to
He felt Remus’ eyes burn in his back. He didn’t know exactly why he was being so cheeky. Would Remus be a playful master?
Severus’ good mood slowly turned into the usual state of sullenness
throughout the day. He took all three of his meals in the Great Hall,
and obtained a smile from McGonagall for that at dinner. He scowled at
her. He wanted Remus to smile at him. To kiss him. To touch him gently.
But Remus was giving Potter a lecture.
Severus retired to his quarters and did something very unusual for him, he went to bed just after the dinner, taking Enigmatic Potions
with him. He had been reading for a couple of hours when he felt his
wards being pushed. He got up, put on his robes over his grey
nightshirt and went to the sitting room. Someone was knocking on his
door. He groaned. One of his Slytherins, no doubt. Who else would come
here at ten o’clock in the evening?
“Severus? May I come in?”
Severus nodded mutely and stepped away, raising the wards automatically.
“I came for the explanation of your morning remark.”
Severus gulped. The other man’s face was polite mask as usual. Severus
could only guess if he would be reprimanded or seduced. He felt the
familiar tickling in the area under his stomach. Severus didn’t know
what he was supposed to say, so he said nothing.
Remus approached him. Severus hoped he managed to hide the sudden fear in his eyes.
“Severus,” Remus said and kissed him gently. Severus melted into the
kiss. Remus moved lower and Severus raised his chin obediently, giving
him access to his pale throat, usually covered by high neck of his
Remus ravished Severus’ neck throughout. Then he pushed him gently away.
“Be careful when playing with a wolf, Severus. I know you like to
tease, and you know I don’t want to hurt you. But it may happen if I
would misinterpret your teasing,” he said seriously.
Severus lowered his eyes and nodded.
Remus led him to the couch and started kissing him again. While he was
working on Severus’ neck, Severus’ clever hands found their way into
soft brown hairs. Severus was moaning. This was heaven.
Remus stopped at the black robes. “May I open them, Severus?” he asked for permission hoarsely.
The soft “yes” was nearly lost in the sounds of need.
Remus spelled the robes open and continued down, but just the short way
to the grey edge of the nightshirt. He tried to collect himself. “I
think we shouldn’t move it any further,” Lupin said and got back to
Severus’ mouth again. It sounded a bit more as a question than as a
Severus sobered lightly from his pleasure haze. “I—” It was so hard for
him to express his desires, to tell aloud what he wanted Lupin to do to
Remus seemed to understand it. “Severus, tell me what you want. I am a
leader, but there is a difference between leading and abusing powers.
You can trust me with your desires.”
Severus blushed: “I would like you to stay over night, but not- ” he cut himself off.
“But? Severus, this is important.” Severus was grateful that the other man doesn’t make fun of his lack of eloquence.
“I would like to just lay and- cuddle.” The horrible, childish word was
spoken and Severus couldn’t erase it. He looked away, and waited for
the colour to leave his face.
But Remus didn’t ridicule him. He just smiled and said: “I believe you
will allow me to use your bathroom and borrow a nightshirt?”
Severus nodded gratefully.
Later, in the warmness of the shared bed, positioned comfortably
against Remus’ strong chest Severus mumbled: “I am sorry that I
can’t- that you have to wait to- ”
“Severus!” Remus cut him off, “I know you. I never expected you to open up in one night. Sleep now.”
But Severus couldn’t sleep. This was too unusual, too precious to him.
To be held in the safety of a strong arm positioned around him, his ear
pressed towards a chest, listening to calming beating of a strong
heart. Severus hadn’t had this for eternity and he wanted it to last
He was lying with his eyes open, listening to the music of Remus’ heart
as it was getting slower, his breath longer and deeper, his hand
loosening its hold of Severus’ shoulders. Remus’ body was so warm, and
Severus’ memories of the empty cold bed that he had been lying in all
those years slowly vanished, melted into nothingness.
This felt good. So good. So very good.
“Master,” Severus whispered contentedly.
Remus stirred and tightened his hand again. “Severus?”
Severus stiffened with fear of rejection. He had forgotten about the excellent sense of hearing of werewolves. ‘Did Lupin hear that?’
“What did you say, Severus?”
“I must have been mistaken then. I nearly thought I heard you say
‘master’, sorry. Good night.” Remus raised his head and kissed Severus
on the forehead.
Severus knew he was pushing it, but he couldn´t resist: “And if I said ‘master’?” he asked softly.
Remus was pondering it for a moment and Severus shrank into himself. ‘Why do I always have to spoil what I have with my greediness for more?’
“If you said ’master’ and you had myself in your mind,” Remus said
slowly, “then we would have to have a long chat about what you look for
in your master and what he means to you.”
Severus clung tight to Remus. He couldn´t say anything, as he had a lump in his throat. ‘This is simply too nice to really be happening to me. ’
“Sleep now, Severus.”
Severus woke up early in the morning. The whole night he had drifted
between light sleep and sleepy consciousness, yet he felt perfectly
rested. He was warm and comfortable, and so he just lay there, enjoying
He felt Remus begin to wake up slowly, and things turned even better. A
strong hand started roaming around Severus back, petting the scruff of
his neck every now and then. Severus moaned softly. He tried not to
move, knowing his nearly painfully hard erection was pressing into
Remus´ hip, and he didn´t want to bring attention to it.
But gradually, the tension become unbearable and Severus´ hips
moved on their own accord. Remus groaned and he hoisted Severus onto
himself, kissed his lover hungrily, and in the same moment his hand
pressed on Severus´ nightshirt-clad arse and pressed their groins
together. They rocked against each other with rising speed, moaning and
panting, till they exploded wildly.
Severus slid beside Remus and the both men slowly recovered from the blissful climax.
“Sleep now, Severus.”
“We should get up. I have morning classes.” Remus got up and went into
the bathroom. Before he came out, Severus called a house-elf and
ordered a small breakfast for two. Then he took his turn in the
They ate silently, neither of them being exactly a morning bird.
“This is pleasurable, but Minerva wouldn’t tolerate it.” Remus said finally.
Severus nodded, frowning slightly.
“We have to keep our relationship hidden. Your small Slytherins are undoubtedly spying on you.”
“Of course,” Severus agreed.
“You should open your floo for me here. I will open my fireplace for you.”
“Are you free tonight, Severus?”
“Yes, I teach only until lunch. Tuesday afternoons I usually spend in
my lab, inventing. Will you come here or should I come to yours?”
Severus asked meekly.
“I will come here. We have a serious chat before us. We both want this
to work, aren’t we?” Remus got up and kissed Severus’ ‘yes’ from his
lips, kissing him hard and possessively.
Remus left, and Severus raised a hand to his marked lips. The hope
shining in his eyes mirrored the feeling in his heart. He definitely
wanted this to work.
Please feedback! firstname.lastname@example.org
This fiction will continue in a sequel, Remus and Severus will start master/pet relationship, which, I daresay won’t be easy.