Title: Just Wanting to be Loved
Author: Angel Archer
Pairing: SS/RL & SS/SB
Rating: NC17
Disclaimer: No I don't own these charactors. That's why it's called fanfiction.
Betaed by: The Backseat Driver
Scenerio:#136) Lupin is in an abusive relationship because he doesn't think anyone else would want him. Snape finds out about it.

Chapter 1

He brought his hand downward from his throbbing lip to see trembling crimson fingertips. The bloody lower lip was now numb and felt no pain as Remus Lupin looked up to his assailant.

"I'm so sorry Sirius. I didn't mean to. I really don't think that, honestly. I would never insinuate that James is attractive, really. I, I." Remus's speech was sincere and fearful and desperate for the right words. ".I was really just meaning from Lily's point of view.not, not mine."

Sirius stood up strolling without a word to get a rag off the kitchen counter and moistened it under the faucet; turned back and strolled to the olive green walled room that Remus was sitting in again touching his split lip. Sirius sat down next to him wrapping one arm and using one hand to lower Remus's and washing the blood from his fingertips then kissing his them softly and scrunching up his eye brows as if in deep thought. He then set Remus's hand in his lap and began to nurse his mouth. He had one finger wrapped in the washrag and began dabbing the blood gently away. Remus's eyes remained submissive and kept their gaze below Sirius's view. As the last spots of dripping red were cleared away, he threw the rag on the floor and licked Remus's lips. He pulled his knees up on the couch hovering over Remus then taking one knee across to straddle him. He forcibly pushed Remus's shoulders into the back of the couch. Remus's head still remained low, digging his chin into his chest not wanting to look Sirius in the eye. Sirius held his own chin quite high and cocky. He released one shoulder taking his hand to Remus's throat pushing until Remus's head was forced back fully resting on the top of the couch and partially against the wall. Remus closed his eyes because it was the only way to avoid Sirius's gaze from that position.

"Aw, come on now." Sirius began stroking one long finger down Remus's chin across his adam's apple to the hollow of his neck. His voice started sweet and promising. "You know I didn't mean it. I mean of course you only meant from Lily's point of view." His voice started to become icy next. "You know how sensitive I am. I mean I know you would never think about looking at another man, because you surely are fully aware that NO ONE would ever want a freak of nature like you by now. And I have some news for you. Lily's his official girlfriend now so, don't think that James' would even give you a second thought." Sirius's body shifted as if he suddenly became aware of his temperature rising and shaking it off. His voice sounded now like he was forcing himself to sound sweet and sincere. "I mean if it wasn't for me you wouldn't even have James for a friend.or any friends for that matter. You're nothing but an outcast in society's eyes. You're lucky I have a good heart and more brains than the rest of them. I," and he kept emphasizing the word I, ".I am the one that has let you have a decently normal life by letting you join the marauders. You are grateful aren't you?" he asked encircling Remus's throat then releasing it to lay kisses in the very same spot he had just constricted and began to rhythmically rub his groin into Remus's and whispering in his ear, "I'm sorry." Sirius's rubbing got harder as he whispered more hot breathed words into Remus's ears, "Come on. Forgive me. I was just upset. I was hurt when I thought you meant it. You hurt me, that's all. I'm sorry."

The friction of the Sirius's rubbing started to give Remus an erection. Sirius took that as a good signal.

"See now." Sirius began teasingly. "You still love me. Come on.tell me you love. Just say it."

Remus finally opened his eyes gasping as Sirius slipped a hand into his pants grabbing hold of his cock and squeezing hard. "I'm sorry." Remus cried. "I should have worded myself better. It's not your fault. I.I.I.I." saying each I in conjunction with each backward jacking motion of Sirius's hand.

Sirius had a cruel fulfilled smile on his face as Remus spoke stopping his rhythm to let Remus finish. "Yes? You were saying?"

Remus took two deep breaths. "I owe everything to you, I do love you, Sirius. I'm so sorry." Remus spoke these words relieved that Sirius wasn't going to hit him again or get magic involved this time. He spoke the words sincerely. He loved Sirius and truly thought that he owed Sirius his allegiance for accepting him into the group when all others had condemned him ever since he had become a werewolf. Sometimes when Sirius's temper flared Remus wanted to hit him back or throw a hex or jinx him or even kill him, but it was that grateful love that kept him from retaliating. After all, who would accept him? Where would he go if he were no longer a part of the marauders?

Sirius took in a congratulating inhale curling his upper lip. "Now, that's more like it." He said taking his thumb and smearing a pre-ejaculation drip around the head of Remus's penis. "You always were book smart. Be sure to apply that knowledge when you speak to me from now on. I'll forgive you too, but you really need to show me how much you care. I mean, you wouldn't want me to think that you're just lying to stay with me and you really do like James do you?" He un-straddled Remus sprawling himself out on the rest of the couch, his head resting on the arm with one foot on the floor and one leg cocked up against the back of the couch.

Remus knew it was time to make up for his mistake and get this whole bloody misunderstanding behind them. He positioned himself between Sirius's legs, unfastened his pants and slid them off. Remus stared for a moment at Sirius's exposed arousal and plotted in his mind how to make this the best blowjob he could so that Sirius would know he still loved him. He didn't know what he would do or where he would go if Sirius ever kicked him out.

Remus's jaw was beginning to ache as he was starting to think Sirius was never going to cum. His mouth's grip began to loosen and his motions weren't quite a deliberate as when he first started. He finally backed off to work the kinks out of his jaw still trying to lick at the same time hoping Sirius wouldn't notice anything was wrong. But, Sirius wasn't going to accept anything less than full force grabbing the back of Remus's head smashing his unsatisfied cock back into Remus's mouth. He clutched Remus's hair and took control of his head. The pressured forced rhythm was hard and fast and unrelentless. The pain in Remus's jaw was becoming unbearable as a new searing pain from his cut lip began, but he didn't resist letting Sirius pleasure himself to his satisfaction. When he finally came, he held his face down keeping his cock clear to the back of his throat causing him to choke and gag. When Sirius finally released his grip Remus sat up quickly, holding his jaw and working out the pain of the lockjaw and wiping off the newly dripped blood from it re-opening his cut.

"Mmmmm, now that was good." Sirius began. "Just next time don't make me do it for you, ok?" Then he motioned with his hand for Remus to lie next to him.

Remus squirmed up and nestled tightly next to Sirius on the couch. Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus making a few moaning sounds from the lingering affects of his orgasm. "Mmm, Thank Merlin nobody else will ever want you. If word ever got out how good this feels I'd have to fight everybody else to keep you." Then he began to stroke Remus's chest with his fingers then pulled him in as tight as he could. "Damn I love you, Remus." And he fell asleep.

Remus by learned habit ignored the first comment and fell asleep listening to the "Damn I love you, Remus" over and over in his mind smiling as he fell asleep in his lover's arms.

Chapter 2

Now, most people may not understand how Remus could fall asleep happy after an evening such as this. Most people would never understand how he could forgive Sirius so easily overlooking his negative comments and focusing on the good. But, most people aren't werewolves either. Most people have no clue what life is like for Remus Lupin, having to hide during the full moon, never able to be completely truthful to anyone he ever met, and being shunned from society forcing him into his own now somewhat perverse situation. Most people don't know what it feels like to be hated by seemingly everyone and then accepted by someone. Their relationship wasn't always like this though. In the beginning it was a love at first sight secretive relationship. As time went on Sirius thought that perhaps the James would accept Remus into the group. After all, he allowed Wormtail to hang around. Surely, a werewolf couldn't seem any worse. James and Peter did accept Remus (after a crazy week of hazing of course) but accepted him nonetheless. This was what Sirius wanted but somehow his emotions changed becoming jealous of their interactions. Sirius began to make it very clear that to Remus that he could trade him for anyone in heartbeat and quickly get him thrown out of school if he ever crossed him, or that James and Peter were only his friends because he asked them to, and that he could quickly change their minds as well. Of course whenever he spoke harshly like this he always finished with apologies of just being jealous and defended himself with words of love. This kept Remus at bay and still devoted to him. But, as time went on his mental lashings turned into physical reactions, but Remus's continued forgiveness remained. Who else would love him? He never could think of anyone. So, he soon came to the conclusion that if Sirius could look over his faults and werewolfism, then surely he owed it to Sirius to look over his temper. So, the vicious cycle went on. There were good days and bad days just like any relationship. But, lately it seemed the bad were taking over the good.

It was Holiday break when this last incident occurred and Sirius had Remus staying at Grimwauld Place for Christmas and they were actually alone for the evening. His family was attending a Christmas party at the Lestrange's home. Remus was grateful he had someone to visit this year instead of staying at Hogwarts alone. It was their graduating year and they were planning on moving in together afterwards. This should have been a cheerful occasion but, Sirius often held it over his head if he looked at someone in a way that Sirius didn't approve of, just like on this next occasion which changed more than one outcast's life.

Chapter 3

All the marauders were greeting each other returning from the Christmas holiday outside by the school's lake when James caught sight of Severus Snape. He scruffed up his hair and pocketed the snitch he was yo-yoing above his head and stalking Snape with his eyes.

"Look who's made it back, guys." James said pleased with the prey that was unknowingly strolling right into his territory.

Snape was walking along and rummaging through his bag at the same time.

"Still looking for those Christmas gifts you never received this year?" James called out.

Sirius and Peter became and instant chuckling choir. Remus smiled but was never really comfortable with their bullying.

Snape was never able to just ignore which always seemed to make the situation worse. "Well one, for your information I did get gifts this year, but two.I'd much rather get none than only receive them from a mud blood girlfriend like you did."

James without a moment's hesitation pulled out his wand hurling a spell at Snape. This sent him flying into the lake.

With a splash and a gasp Snape came up for air frantically treading the water. He didn't call out for help but it was very obvious to Remus that he had no clue how to swim. Peter, James, and Sirius were too busy laughing and making snide comments to realize the seriousness of the situation.

Instinctively Remus dove in and held Snape's head above the water swimming them both back to shore. The marauders didn't even notice until Remus had pulled him safely out of the water, his arms holding and balancing Snape upright. Snape was trying to gain his composure and just simply happy he could breathe when Remus's eyes met his. They gazed at each other as if they were both trying to read each other's minds.

"Are you ok?" Remus eventually asked.

Snape had no time to answer though as another voice caught his ear. James said, "Damn Sirius, go control your boyfriend!"

Before he even finished the sentence Sirius had jerked Remus up by the back of his sopping wet robes causing Snape to fall backwards into the sand, and telling James to shut up.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing?" He growled then smacked him back down into the sand. He again forcibly yanked him to his feet waiting for an answer.

Snape had jumped up and began brushing the sand off his clothes.

Remus looked to Snape and again caught his eye contact as he began to answer. "He was going to drown."

Sirius had already raised his arm as if he was going to hit him again and Remus was already flinching and turning his head. But, instead he lowered his arm into his robes pulling out his wand and cast a spell that dried him. "Just come on! We need to talk in private." He ushered Remus off towards the castle.

Peter and James looked back at Snape then decided to follow their friends instead of taunting him again.

Snape repeated the drying spell, which he had just learned by hearing Sirius then watched somewhat stunned as the marauders all went out of view. He accioed his bag out of the lake and dried it too. But, his thoughts weighed heavily on the thought of the two marauders being a couple. It was obviously a secret because everything about that group of boys was the talk of the school at all moments and he definitely would have known. He didn't know what it was he felt at that moment exactly but what he did know now was that he wasn't alone. There were other homosexual boys at this school after all. He had never been in a consensual relationship before and never considered one would ever be with a boy from that group. But, somehow after that one gesture of kindness, he contemplated the thought. His mind quickly came to the realization that the boy he was suddenly attracted to already had a boyfriend. Then he became angry that Sirius had treated him like that when he was trying to help him simply not drown. This boiled Snape's anger against Sirius that much hotter. His mind was swarming with evil thoughts of how to get revenge on James and Sirius and that silly Peter Pettigrew. After a few moments of calming down he decided to let it go and just get to the Slytherin dorms for night. He spent the night dreaming of Remus coming to his rescue. Only in his dreams, he beat up the other marauders and got to take Remus home for the night.

Chapter 4

As the days went by Snape and Remus exchanged a number of curious glances. Snape often took note of new bruises or scrapes on Remus. He also took note that he tried to cover them up whenever he caught him looking. Snape knew too well from his childhood what behavior like this was caused by. After the incident by the lake Snape could only assume he knew who was causing it too. But, what Snape could not understand was why he would put up with it. He ran away from home and never looked back when it was happening to him.

It was now about 3 weeks after the lake incident and the boys were in Muggle History class together. Most everyone in the class had their heads on their desks trying to stay awake through a stale boring lecture except for Snape. He had his quill racing, taking notes on all the teacher saying. He looked up to see what the teacher was writing on the blackboard when he noticed Remus, seated in front of him, had turned his head around to look at him. They boys' eyes again met, but this time Remus offered a smile. Nervous as this made him, Snape actually smiled back. He noticed all the bruises had healed and began to admire the features of Remus's face. This was when the teacher told Remus to face the front of the classroom. It made Remus and Snape giggle as he turned back around. This is what finally woke Sirius up to the situation giving Remus a cold icy stare from across the room.


Later that evening Snape was headed for the library when the staircase began to move as he was in the midst of them. Snape tromped off in a rage trying to figure out how to get back to the lower floor cursing at the stairs. He soon shuffled his way around the hall realizing he was near the Gryffindor tower. This is when he heard the sound of heavy breathing. He decided to investigate following the sound around to a dark corner by a cement spiral staircase and sitting at just at the bottom was Remus. Snape looked around frantically to be sure no one else was around. He knew that if he were ever going to talk to him alone this would be the best chance he'd ever get. He slowly approached from behind thinking about what to say first, when Remus said "Hello Severus" without even turning to see him.

"How did you know it was me?" Snape asked.

"I could smell you coming." Remus stated in a crackly voice.

Snape noticed his speech then came around where they could see each other. He immediately noticed the fresh bloody splice on Remus's lip.

"Why do you let him do that?" Snape asked.

"I don't know."

"Why did you save me then?" Snape asked instead.

"I don't know."

"Do you want me to leave?" Snape tried a last attempt question.

Remus looked up at Snape and thought for a moment leaving them with an uncomfortable silence.

Snape turned to leave.

"No, I don't want you to leave." Remus finally spoke.

Snape shuffled around sitting next to Remus trying to appear as if he couldn't have cared either way but his heart was leaping.

"You wanna talk about it then?" Snape initiated the conversation again.

"I just don't know what to say." Remus answered.

"Well, you could start with answering my questions from before. Why do you let him do it?"

"I guess I just don't think I have any other choice. Who else is gonna want to accept or love some freak with lycanthrope?"

Snape wanted to shout I would, I would love you forever and I already do, but of course he didn't. But, what he did say was just as wonderful. "Don't ever lower your standards just because you feel trapped. I mean I can see you wouldn't treat someone you loved like this and.well." Their eyes met. ".Neither would I."

The heat between them rose and they were already seated so close together on the stair. Their faces wouldn't have to travel far to make it happen. I'm not sure who started to lean in first; maybe they even did it at the same time. But, what we do know is it happened. They kissed for the very first time sitting right there on the stair. It was a soft and unsure kiss, a short kiss that broke apart as quickly as it began. For Remus had pulled back.

"Sirius would kill me. Oh my God. I'm sorry Severus. I can't betray him."

"So, don't betray him." Snape suggested. "Just tell him it's over. I'll wait for you." He said brushing Remus's bang out off his forehead and crossing his fingers in his mind awaiting his response.

"Really?" Remus started. "What if it took me awhile to do it? I'd have to do it when the time feels right."

"Take your time. I understand." But he really didn't understand he just knew he wanted to do whatever it took to hold on to whatever was developing here.

"Wow Sev thanks." And he nudged Snape with his elbow smiling.

With a smile back the wizards began to talk openly about themselves. They talked about their pasts, their problems, their hopes and their dreams into the evening. Their commonality of both feeling like outcasts kept the topic running clear into the night. Both boys could sense curfew was upon them, but neither wanted it to end. Remus kept looking at his watch but never offering the time to Snape and Snape didn't ask. He didn't want to know how soon it had to end. But, finally it had to.

"You know there's only about fifteen minutes to curfew and I know you need to go all the way down to Slytherin. You may be late even if you leave now. You'd better hurray." Remus said apologetically.

Snape chewed his lower lip looking for a sign in Remus's face hoping it was ok to at least kiss him goodbye. He started to lean in but Remus put a hand on his chest shaking his head.

"Not yet."

Snape nodded, "Alright, but friends can hug right?" And he didn't wait for an answer this time he just scooped Remus into one: his head over his left shoulder. He took that opportunity to whisper, "But I think we're really more than that."

Remus nodded in agreement and watched Snape as far as he could still see him then headed up to the boys' dormitory.


"Where the hell have you been all night?" Sirius whispered in an angry voice, but couldn't act upon his anger in a room full of the rest of Gryffindor students.

"Just out thinking if us, that's all." Remus replied.

Sirius lowered his temper glad to hear he was in his thoughts and skipped silently into his bed hoping not to wake anyone. "I'm sorry I flew off the broom handle today. I." But Remus interrupted. "Don't worry about it, Sirius. I know you love me."

"Good, because I do." He kissed his lover good night then snuck back to own bed before they were noticed.

Chapter 5

I wish I could tell you that Remus found the right moment to tell Sirius that it just wasn't working out between them and he and Snape lived happily ever after but I'm afraid this story probably isn't going to be a fairy tale come true. But, it will have its good moments. But, the next moment isn't one of them.

For 2 weeks had past and Remus wasn't one step closer to breaking up with Sirius and Snape and Remus were starting to slip with hiding their flirtatiousness. They had secretly been meeting every other evening just to talk and were becoming closer and closer. This made it that much harder to ignore each other in classes. It was during Muggle History class again when it happened. Remus turned around trying to slip Snape a note to meet him that night, when the teacher caught the exchange reading it in front of the class.


Can you meet me tonight again? I want to talk to you.


The class didn't think much of it, at least no one but the marauders anyway. Sirius looked like he wanted to explode. As soon as class let out Sirius slammed Remus against wall around an empty corner again busting his lip against the wall. James and Peter decided to pass on and go to their next class not wanting to get involved in this one.

Sirius spat as he spoke, "Why in the Fuck are you writing Snivellus? And you better tell me it was going to be a prank. And what in the Fuck does yours, Remus suppose to mean?" He was pointing his wand at Remus's chest.

Snape had followed and was spying around the corner. He couldn't stand watching Remus seem so submissive when he knew the strong and brave side of him now.

When Remus was at a loss for words, Sirius lost his patience. He flung back his wand and began to shout an incantation, when Snape pulled his wand and simply accioed Sirius's wand out of his hand and into his own. Sirius turned a casual turn and cast a twisted smile to Snape.

"Well, well, well.if it isn't Grease ball himself. You couldn't possibly be in your biggest fantasy think YOU can take something that's mine, do you?" Remus laughed.

"Well, what I do know is I'm not gonna let you keep doing this to him all the time!" Snape answered.

"And what would you know about that?" Sirius's eyes darted over to Remus. "You've been talking to him? Really Remus I thought you were the smart one." He looked back to Snape flailed back his fist and punched him in the square in the nose, knocking him to ground with the blow. He snatched his wand back. He marched up to Remus held up a hand in front of his face and said, "I don't even want to look at you right now, but you better be back before curfew tonight. We are going to have a long talk." At that he stomped off leaving the two alone in the corner.


As soon as he was gone Remus ran to Snape's side. "I'm so sorry I caused this for you. Come here. At least it was in the nose, I mean.I know how to fix that. I have practice." Remus led Snape down and out of castle and they hid in their usual meeting place under the Quidditch stands where no one would see them.

Remus pointed his wand at Snape's broken nose and muttered the incantation. "There you go. It's good as new." He thought it seemed slightly bigger than before but didn't say anything and hoped it wasn't enough for Snape to notice.

Snape began to feel his nose and tested it by breathing in a few deep breaths and nodding that it was normal again.

"You shouldn't have gotten involved though Sev."

Snape about blew at that, "How do you expect me to not get involved when he was about to go crazy on you about me? It's just not right Remus. Well, at least you can safely presume it's over now anyway."

Remus froze pondering that concept. "Oh my gosh. You're right Sev, he thinks we're like.well, you know.and he'll never want me again, surely not. I don't know how I'm gonna live in that dorm after this though."

Snape could see the worry spreading across Remus's face. "It's ok Remus. You've got me on your side now. If anything happens I'll be around to help you through it, you'll see."

The boys fell into an embrace and trying to console each other that everything would be all right. This lead quickly into passionate kisses, which quickly led to roaming hands.

Remus backed up and said, "Come on. I know a place we can go." He led Snape to the secret passageway to that lead to cave under the whomping willow tree. Snape had fallen victim of this tree before and also at the hands of James and marauders. He was glad to see that Remus trusted him to know about the real entrance and the password.

They settled down and got comfortable in the new environment. They leaned their backs against one wall and entwined their fingers together both taking in a deep sigh of relief.

"We're safe here. I'll be here on full moon nights if you ever want to come see me too."

Snape understood and smiled. The cave went quiet. This is when their chemistry started to mix again both of them needing the security of each other's touches. Their kisses started out quite soft and deeply full of meaning.

"Sev?" Remus said. And Snape so loved it when he called him Sev.

"Yes?" he answered.

Remus took one of Snape's hands and put it to his waistline and whispered, "Touch me."

Snape lowered his hand pressing against Remus's already full erection. This excited Snape. He wasn't a virgin, but he'd never been able to touch and do what he wanted because his only experience with sex was in strange unhealthy pureblood death eater trials that Voldemort was testing his allegiance through or his childhood molestations. He hated the concept of sex on the terms that he's gotten to know it, but longed for the connection to someone. He had made that connection with Remus and he wanted to gratify and show his love in this manner. He knew right then that he would never go back to Voldemort. He knew that this was the side he wanted to be on. Remus's side, the side of knowledge and wisdom, and morals. This was one of the many topics that the two boys talked on during their meetings and he wanted Remus to know it.

"I'm never going back."

Remus knew without a doubt that he was talking about Voldemort, and this only doubled Remus's passion at that moment. The clothes started coming off this way and that, as the groping and heavy petting became so hot their bodies couldn't even tell there was a chill in the air. When they were both completely naked they slowed and looked each other up and down still sitting there against the wall. Remus started to go down on Snape kissing his way their. When Snape caught on to what was about to happen he stopped Remus and said, "Oh, you can't do that it'll hurt your lip." He said caressing the still moist cut on Remus's lip. Remus couldn't believe that Snape had even thought of that. But, he didn't care he wasn't doing this time because he had to prove something or felt like he had to. He was doing it because he wanted to. He desired to. "I'll stop if it hurts." Were his last words before completely taking Snape's full erection into his mouth and sucking hard as he slid his way up to the head and encircling it with his tongue. He sucked on it some more taking note that it was slightly bigger than Sirius's. Snape was moaning out Remus's name. It turned Remus on that much more to hear his real name being called out and not being called Moony. It made him feel recognized as a person not just a werewolf. Snape could barely concentrate or keep his hips at bay with Remus's pleasuring. He knew just where to and when and what to do to satisfy Snape to the pinnacle of orgasm massaging his testicles as he came, screaming, pressing his hips forward. Remus swallowed hard and began to lick up what he had missed off of Snape's stomach. This usually disgusted him with Sirius, but with Snape he wanted to take every part of him in. He cursed himself inwardly for comparing every part of the experience to how it was Sirius and tried to shove it to the back of his mind. Next Snape sat up holding Remus in close tasting his shoulders and proceeded to take his turn wanting to give Remus the same pleasure.

But, this time it was Remus who stopped him, "That's not what I want." He said slow and seductively.

"But, I want to taste you. But, I'll do whatever pleases you."

"Then go ahead and taste me. Get it all wet and then I'll show you what I want."

His cryptic message got Snape even hotter as he began to lick every inch of Remus's cock. Remus was combing through Snape's hair with his fingers as Snape pulled up. They looked again into each other's eyes as Remus said, "Good, now turn around on all fours."

Snape obeyed.

Remus came up behind him with his fully lubricated erection and held it above his Snape's hole. "Are you ready?" he whispered.

Snape closed his eyes and nodded.

Remus then took his own penis in his hand and navigated it to the right spot. He let go and pushed the head of it in and stopped as Snape let out a painful cry. Snape must've known that was why he stopped and said, "It's ok, it's ok, keep going."

So, Remus did so slowly. Snape had lowered himself from his hands to his elbows, laying his head in his hands. Remus let out a, "Mmmmm, Sevvie, mmmm." When he made full penetration. "Here I go," Were his words before he started thrusting himself back and forth building to his climax. Remus came with a burst screaming out more Sevvies, "Oh Sevvie, I love you.I need you.oh god Sevvie never let this end. I love you Sevvie, I love you."

Now, I don't really know if he was really in love with Severus Snape or not because I do know that the body rush of an intense orgasm can lead you to say or act in ways you may not have in your right mind. But, this story takes a turn for the worse when as you now get to find out that Sirius had just made his way through the secret entrance hoping to find Remus since it was well past curfew and he had been just around the corner as Remus was calling these things out. Now, you may suspect that this would trigger our easily tempered Sirius into a fit of rage, but it didn't. He just sat down around that corner out of sight and began to cry.

Meanwhile, Snape and Remus are going in for another round of intercourse. This time with Snape on top and Remus on his back his legs held high as Snape went in. Snape had lowered his body so that his stomach would rub against Remus's cock so they could both feel pleasure this time. Believe it or not they peaked orgasm at the very same time still moaning loudly together. They were both obviously screamers and together they managed quite a volume.

This of course drowned out any noise that Sirius may have been making through his tears. Poor Sirius's mind was a garble with questions. How did I ever let this get so out of hand? How many times have I apologized for the same stupid things? How could I have ever hurt him? I love him, and I've lost him to the Grease ball? How could I have lost him to Snivellus? Gods I really have been treating him like shit haven't I?

The two boys were now teasing each other. Remus had asked Snape if there was one thing he would want to see him do what would it be. Snape couldn't decide so Remus answered instead. "If I could see you do anything.I'd have you do something that would really turn me on."

"Oh yeah, and what would that be?" Snape asked.

"I want to see my Sevvie in a dress. Now that would turn me on."

"No way." Snape laughed. "I know I said I'd do anything you wanted and I'll never condemn your weirdness, but that is one thing you'll never get me to do."

"Well, we'll just see about that. I'll figure it out someday. You'll see."

They were both laughing and fondling each other and holding many embraces. They finally decided they should get dressed and then did so.

"Ok, I think I know something that I wish I could see you do."

"Yeah, well what is it?"

"Giving Sirius a busted lip and kissing me right in front of him."

Remus laughed some more saying, "Oh, let's call that one a plan. That's something I wouldn't mind seeing me do either."

It was just then that Sirius couldn't stifle a loud sniff of his runny nose still tearing.

"What was that?" Snape asked.

Remus jumped up to look around the corner and saw the shattered remnants of what was formerly known a Sirius "Padfoot" Black. He wasn't even the shell of the man he was just hours earlier. His eyes were bloodshot and still rivering tears. His sleeves full of the snot and tears he's been wiping up for over an hour listening to them make love from around the corner. He was rocking back and forth like he was trying to comfort himself. He was a pathetic mess.

"Oh my God, Sirius? How long have you been there?" Remus said crouching down to his level.

Snape came around the corner snickering with delight. "How does it feel, dogface? How does feel to be the one cowering, you pathetic worm?" Then he kicked some dirt up at him.

"Severus! Don't!" Remus pleaded.

Snape looked highly confused. They were just joking about how they would like to get back at him and just made the love he'd ever experienced in his life and now, his lover is back down defending Sirius with his arm around him trying to console him.

"But, Remus.What are you doing? Screw this jerk."

"Sev, please.you don't understand, just go ok? I'll talk with you tomorrow."

"But." Snape started to protest.

"Please - just go."

Snape shook his head but, left all the same and left completely confused and disoriented.

Chapter 6

"Come on Paddy? Padfoot? Sirius? Come on Sirius calm down. Shhhhh." He tried to soothe the hysterically crying Sirius.

It took a while for him to be able to talk and his voice was all nasally from his nose being so stopped up but he finally did. "I'm sorry for everything! I'm so sorry! I've said it too many times already, I know! You shouldn't have ever had to hear it once! What can I do Remus? What can I do? I'll do anything?" His lip trembled as he spoke and it broke Remus's heart to see him in this state.

"It's ok Sirius. Shush. Just look me in the eye and tell me that you'll keep your anger under control or at least not direct it at me.and I'll forgive you this one last time. I've always loved you through it all. Please what ever you've over heard, find it in you're heart right now to forgive me and I'll for give you too."


Now, this is a rather sad part of the story for Severus Snape because as soon as he thought he'd found someone, it truly wasn't five minutes later and he was stolen right back out from under him nose. And this time it he who was listening around corners. He listened intentively as the two forgave each other and started anew. He was crushed. He ran from there straight to send a letter to send word that he was ready for the final death eater test. He was going to show them someday. He would show them what Severus Snape was made of. So, yes.this was the downfall of our future Potions Master. It was Harry Potter's own future Godfather that made up Snape's mind to really go through with it. But, was that really the end of Remus and Severus? Is this the part where we learn a lesson in forgiveness and Padfoot and Moony, two-part canines live happily ever after? No, I'm afraid that's not quite how it ends either.

Many years went by from that day. James married Lily and had the baby Harry Potter. Peter Pettigrew sold the couple out to the Dark Lord. Sirius was blamed. Snape did become a Death Eater. However, he also had a change of heart. He really wasn't evil. He was just an impressionable teen looking for acceptance. As he grew older he became a Professor at Hogwarts and a nark and spy for Dumbledore. James and Lily were killed and Harry became the infamous boy who lived. Lupin also became a professor. This of course is where Snape and Lupin finally meet again years later and sparks began to fly. Remus teased Snape the best he could and finally got to see Snape in that dress. Snape was insanely jealous that his lost love had the job position that he wanted and tried to make him pay for that. Lupin finally resigns from being a Professor due to werewolf problems. Now, this is where they can finally see eye to eye. Sirius was out of the picture because he was off hiding from the ministry with Buckbeack (long story) and Snape wasn't holding a grudge anymore that Remus had his job. And Remus wasn't upset with his turn to evil after finding out about his works with Dumbledore. There were no hidden pasts that were about to come back and haunt them. So, they met again and talked out their old teenage issues that finally seemed so long ago. When everything finally felt ok to laugh again a whole year after the boggart incident and a new Order of the Phoenix was formed Remus brought it up.

"You know Sev, you really did look good in that dress." He was half smiling and half smirking.

"That didn't count. We've been through this. That wasn't really me."

"But, it made me so hot. I don't know what I would have done to that boggart if those kids weren't in the room."

Snape cracked on smile.

"You know smiles look good on that deep rooted stern face of yours. I'm gonna have to find more ways to get them to show." Remus chuckled taking a hold of Snape's hand.

"I wish I had the power to give you a detention."

"Oh, but, please Master Snape. Please give me a detention." Remus teased. "Let's go home and play big esteemed Potions Master and little weak Gryffindor naughty student that needs to be taught a lesson."

Snape thought about dismissing Remus's sarcastic display but the smile was cracking yet again.

"A smile.twice in one day? Come on lets go home and play."

And they did so, playing detention all night long.


So, maybe this story really did have a happy ending for Severus and Remus. I just hope Sirius doesn't get out of that veil at the Department of Mysteries because I don't want to see Severus get hurt again and who knows what's going on in Remus Lupin's mind. Surely he can see who really loves him by now, and whom he truly loves. Surely.